Saturday, August 22, 2009

Kandasamy

Long long ago, so long ago a young man called Susi Ganesan workedwith Maniratnam for many many years getting an alpa salary of 200 bucks for one month an entire project. Frustrated with the slavery and salary at Madras talkies, one day, he got full veeram and pheelings and vowed that he will make a film that is twice the budget of all Maniratnam films put together and today... Susi's kanavu nanavaagified thanks to Kandasamy ... super jeero.. sorry super hero.


Konangi Saamy

The film has an impressive start with Kandasamy in super-hero getup doing ajala gujala stunt beating up Inspector Mansoor Ali Khan after the latter usurps the moneys dropped by Kandasamy, the saviour at a poor lady's place to save her husband admitted in the hospital. The poor lady is given back the money and she believes that its thanks to her prayers to Lord Kandasamy she received the bunch of notes.

But nobody knows that it is CBI officer Kandasamy, the 'Anniyan'ised 'Indian' 'Ramana', the saviour of the ezhais who answers poor people's prayers which are written on a chit and dropped at the Kandasamy temple. To know why Kandasamy IPS turned into Kozhi Kandasamy, please watch Ramana, Indian , Anniyan and some Inglees , Spanish films from Susi Ganesan's DVD collection.

Kozhi Saamy

This film should have ideally been called Kozhi saamy. Kandasamy comes in a Kozhi getup, Shriya Saran has an 'uricha kozhi' hairstyle walking like a kozhi, Prabhu has a permanent 'kozhi muzhi' and Devishri Prasad suffers from a serious 'Kozhi vella kozhi' hangover in his music.

Kaamedi Saamy

Kaamedi # 1: The first or the second name after 'Super hero' Cheeeyan Vikram on the opening credits was Padmashri / Padmabhushan types Dr. Krishna. I was wondering who on earth was Dr. Krishna? Aprom-lu pikchaar choose nenuku artham randi. Pikchar beginning-lu CBI head officer ante oka character unnaru. Manchi reddu dye chesi head-u... manchi golti tamil cheptaaavu, hilarious-u accent anta manavaaru Doctor Krishna. Ade, Sridevi gaaru anta 1980s lu chaala exercise dance chepesta manavaaru Krishna gaaru. youtube link choodaavaa? Exercise dance chupesi manchi oka kilo lose chesaa?

Kaamedi # 2: Vadivelu's comedy irritates you in the beginning. But later you realize that that's the only respite from this 'god'damn film and start enjoying it. Vera vazhi? There are hajjaar supposedly tense moments in the film where CBI officers in white shirt and tie run from one place to another - interrogating, throwing files, Vikram fighting etc and bang! you have Vadivelu and his bathroom kaamedy in the middle of all this. Paaaah!

Kaamedi # 3 : Move over ''Enna kodumai saravanan idhu'' . Prabhu Sir's Bull S%^! is going to be Tamizh youtthhh's mantra from now on. He is supposedly some senior CBI officer types and heads the 'Who is Kandasamy' investigation bureau. Pal's expressions are hilarious. And more funny is the fact that he nods / shakes his head carefully so that the wig doesn't fall. Please not to forget noting this , My Lord. Someone send Prabhu back to Kalyan jewellers and handover a raaaittee card to him, please.

Unsahikkable Saamy

Shriya Saran is Ashish Vidyarti's daughter. Ashish's character is PPP who is one of the many bad men in the film arrested by Kandasamy IPS. Shriya vows to take revenge on Kandaswamy, acts as though she is in lauvv with Kandaswamy, dances in handkerchief outfits, has coffee with him in some remote island, travels to Mexico with him and in the end becomes a bharatiya naari wearing salwar kameez visiting Seth temples in Jaipur.

Suchitra Karthik's dubbing voice just doesn't suit Shriya. Suchi is a very very popular jock and a well known voice in Tamilnadu. The moment you hear her accented tamizh, you can't get Shriya into the picture. It is Suchi's purse vaai and the "Hellllllooo Chennai" that come to your mind when you see Shriya sobbing and seducing Kandasamy.

Don't know about the monies in Shriya's Kandasamy contract but a couple of clauses in her contract I know for sure -

"I will show my toppul in every scene , every shot, every frame..."

" I will do sambandaa sambandham illada belly dance in every milliframe"

" My dresses need to be torn anga anga ... even if they aren't please appoint a villain or design a scene where I tear my outfits deliberately"

- Thank youji - Shriyaji

Cheeyaan Saamy

Poor guy - thought it'd be his next Anniyan of sorts. But sorry Cheeyan - not everyone can become an Avvai Shanmughi or a 'Tiruvarutchelvar' Appar. There's a lot more than just makeup to these getups by Kamalagaasan and Sivaji Saar. But must give credit to Cheeyan. He has put in his best and has made a genuine effort which has unfortunately, gone for a kozhikirukkal.

Tamizh-cinema's next talaivali saamy

Every cameraman wants to be a director and every director wants to be a ... hero! Why ? Whyyyy? After S J Suryah, Missskin, Ameer and a whole lot of directors becoming naanum heroes, presenting Susi Ganesan standing in queue dying to show his ugly expression-less face on screen. He plays a supposedly important role in the film - yet another CBI ABCD officer Ganesan. And worssht, they go flash-backing to show how he and Chiyaaan were friends in the Pizza place etc. Who cares?

Kalakkal saamy

The action scenes with the kokkarakko alais kozhi saamy attacking the villains have been shot very well. It is a delight to watch Cheeyaan Vikram doing the kozhi-man act. Sadly it lasts for about 20 minutes in the entire film. Also, commendable work by Eka, the director of photography. I do admit that certain pans and swish swooshes were unnecessary but neat work Eka!

Kalaipuli saamy

The Puli by now must have become a poonai with the kind of reviews that the film is likely to get. I am sure he has all plans to dub Kandasamy as a P K Mishra-ish 'Bhagawaan-ji' in Hindi. How else would you explain the last scene?

Kann-vali saamy

Kozhisaamy attacks villains - distributes monies - Cheeyan attends office - dances with Shriya - Kozhi attack again as a girl, as an old man , some two-three villains come and go, Kozhi attack again, Cheeyan and Shriya travel to Mexico, Helicopters, landscapes, foreign villains, back to India, Vadivelu's bathroom comedy, Prabhu [as I type this I am ROFL-ing], please-give-me-a-chance Y G Mahendra, please-please-give-me-one-more-chance Charlie , Kozhi's friends in the operation....

Kkkk.....Kandha , Kadamba , Kadhirvela, Kumara, Kozhi... save me from the Kann-vali after suffering a three hour 20 minute torture.

Kadaisila saamy

What could have possibly been Tamizh's first super-hero film is a terrible mishmash of nonsensical ... NONSENSE! Logic-less piece of filth this one is.

Kandasamy aka Kandhaswamy aka Kadhai Kandal saamy - 1 out of 5 - Not even worth a watch on Tiruttu Rs.50 VCD

85 Responses:

madhu said...

OMG!! Awesome is a mild word for this review. i have been laughing so hard that my mom has come downstairs from her afternoon nap and is wondering whats happening.

inbavalli said...

That was one fantastic review :)) I'm sure the Hindu, Galatta type reviews will come up with "Extravaganza", "Do no miss" and other bull s#$t.

ummon said...

hiiiiiiiiiillllllarrrrrrrioussssss. i can't stop laughing. the telugu bit esply. medam, vikram jollu value also no-va?
you MUST. simply MUST, take up reviewing seriously.

maduraiveeran said...

Totally unfair. My wife gave me the link to this review, right after I bought the tickets for the weekend!!! Anyhow, now I can go with teeny tiny expectations. I enjoyed your review, what the heck I fell off the chair laughing!

Boston Bala said...

hilarious :))

rrmom said...

Hilarious! Absolutely amazing review. ROTFL at the telugu bit. Was waiting for your review on this one.

maxdavinci said...

OK this will be the first time, when I read a review and don't watch a highly anticipated movie.

unga pechu ketu, tickets cancel panaren....

Shyam said...

Blogical Conclusion for a serious review - yours for hilarious, fall-off-my-chair reviews! I read the Telugu bits out aloud to myself and ROTFLed even more, much to my husband's mystification! :D

MLC said...

The telugu part was too good! i kept goin bck to it, and it still made me LOL!!! luvd yr "locations" post as well!

Arul said...

sema hot review machi...!!!

B o o said...

So our super hero is Cock Man? ROTFLOL!! First Bheema, now this. Poor, poor vikram!
super review! :D

Anonymous said...

I really cant infer what made the producer Kalaipuli S Dhanu waste all dat money on this "visual distravaganza".. I believe had.. Shriya Saran been chucked out of the movie storyline and all those songs (more than an hour of them, i presume) removed except for one the Cheyaan with deliver boys sing-song.. this movie could have been improvised to an extent never seen before in Tamil cinema.. off course the cinematography is highly commendable.. but why all this masala..to put in a rightful social message??? I seriously feel it's high time Tamil Cinema shud get over this masala cacoethes, and focus on improving all aspects of the film,.. the mos important of which, i have found to be the script and editing.. i know for a fact that most of the talkies in town are overbooked, but isnt this torture for the tamil 'makkal' especially shriya in all those nauseating, loathfl song sequences and attire. I had Vikram in high regard, even before Anniyan.. and cant really comprehend at least, why he couldnt put an end to the masala overdose and stick to the core point of the film.. Tamil makkal.. get over this masala-lusting nature and ask for what is more reasonably visually appealing for your 2-3 hrs of dat money.

Karthick Krishna CS said...

semma review... shows how gaandu u r for wasting ur time and money....

Peter Rajan said...

Absolutely wonderful review..!! I have not watched the movie yet but your review has got me interested.. :-)

Ranga said...

"It is Suchi's purse vaai and the "Hellllllooo Chennai" that come to your mind when you see Shriya sobbing and seducing Kandasamy." - ROFL!!!!

Magesh said...

கலக்கல்! பர்சு வாய்...சூப்பர்! ரூம் போட்டு யோசிப்பிங்கலோ?

Praveen said...

LOL. hilarious!

Praveen said...

Whats with this director's facination for RJ's voice for actress?? In Thiruttupayale, Suchitra dubbed for Malavika and Suryan FM RJ, Kanmani dubbed for Sonia Agarwal.

Agn! Sharman said...

Mr Anonymus

Its time for the Tamil like the mallu audience to welcome shakeela in to tamil movies with her A Rated films

Shriya is only a slim very of shakeela movies in Kandasamy

Anonymous said...

Awesome review. Telegu bit was the highlight.

Coconut Chutney said...

ROFL! Unga pera neenga gethth-eswarinnu maathikonga :D

Anonymous said...

Please do write about Madras Talkies - if seprate artikul not possible, keep dropping juicy titbits like in this post.

Anonymous Arockiasamy

MADHAV said...

Not even worth watching on thiruttu VCD!! Haha. Maybe I will see it on Kalignar TV soon!

Poor Vikram, all that effort goes in vain.

Super review! Thanks you me some money. Hate to see the expressionless face of directors in the movie. Sasi was pathetic in Nadodigal. I guess Vennila Kabbadi Kuzhu is the only decent movie in recent past. Did you review it?

Madhav

sai said...

dude i just wanna say something.......i wasnt able to get that harrowing experience for 3 hrs and 15 mins outta ny mind....ur review was a soothing experience.....hats off....and dat man krishna naa chetlo thorikinaadante ante.....vaadi jeevitham katham...

GoodEarth said...

Nice bold review! the fact that Shriya is the heroine for this movie was enuf to keep me off this pic :) i wud rather watch the making of Kingfisher calendar :P :P

And as for Vikram... he is plain dumb! to have signed this movie after hearing the crap story!!
Movie directors have this strange illusion that anything "brahmaandam" is gonna be a hit, regardless of story or screenplay or whtever!! A good knock to Susi Ganesan!! :)

Anonymous said...

Tharumaaru review! Ore comedy. Telugu portion total knockout.

Arvind Suresh said...

:) Good read on a monday mornin at work!! Although to be fair to shriya its not like she has much except her thoppul and the producer wanted to get his moneys worth! Don't blame them I say! :D

Balu Kaliannan said...

Haha !!!! kozhi samy pattriya comments very nice !!

The White Rider said...

Kalakal-review-samy.. This was a very entertaining review with anecdotes from the awesome movie, thrown in... Kudos to you Blogeswari.. I'd like to add though.. Maybe we expected too much because of all the hype that was given for the past 2 years.. If no hype was given, a totally different set of opinions may have been cast at the movie.. But still I haven't seen such a well balanced review in quite a while.. Cheers!!!

Anonymous said...

Amazing review, hilarious!

GS said...

Was at office, found your review by random google search and could not help laughing so loudly. It made my Monday breathable. Thanks.

Shankar said...

Sori padathukku Sariyaaana review!

madhuvika said...

unmai unmai.. its not funny people.. 3 and a half hours antha padatha paatha thaan ungalukku antha kastam puriyum.. I've been expecting this movie for nearly 2 years now.. I fought with my friends for being late. Its that "I should watch this movie from the title" kind of expectation I had for the movie.. But right after I saw the first fight sequence (kokara ko), the 11 others I went with turned to me and gave me "ithu ka nee ivalo hype koodutha" look.. waste of $10.. Enakke ippadi na, kalai pulli dhaanu ku eppadi irukku..

Anonymous said...

brilliant

Bala said...

Movie is not that bad. Just for the sake of mocking a post has been created.
Good creativity thou..
The story is a mix of all Robin-hood type movies, agreed, but when a love story is taken n times, ppl sit and watch, but for these kinda of things no one turns up.
SHREYA SUCKS!!!

Anonymous said...

Ayyo,chanceless,I couldn't stop laughing.Already I'm a great fan of kidding Shriya ,I jus enjoyed.

yeskay said...

he he he
teluguish para was blooper... i was literally LOL'ing in my seat @workplace :)

keep rocking..

yet to watch the movie...

Anonymous said...

Hilarious .. looks like have to watch the movie just to see how bad it is...

Meenakshi said...

Ultimate......I got a stomach ache reading ur review...
hats off to ur excellent sense of humor......great work!

Ramaa said...

Mast hai, yaar! Aise aur likhna... bada mazaa aaya padhne me! Lage raho!!!

(Summa, yenglukkum Hinthi theriyum nu theva illama kamikarthukku.)

Superb post! :-) You write well.

Perumal Thiruchelvam said...

Producer would have followed the theme of the movie before making it ...i mean to say Kalaipuli would have adopted 5 more villages than making this movie ..I wish i am not going to see him on the streets

gmcssilverjubilee0207 said...

Hi, its indeed one of the best reviews which has been penned beautifully conshidering all languages and man its truly awesome........i have not seen the movie.....but will see it fir sure....gud work

కత్తి మహేష్ కుమార్ said...

I enjoyed it...great

Hawkeye said...

blogeswari,

bale bale.

Sathya said...

Hi blogwesari, i came across ur review while searching for some harsh ones abt the movie...i ve become ur instant fan...wat a funny one indeed, u ve surely empathised wid 1st day watchers of d movie like me..it was absolute bull shit and a big letdwon from chiyaan being this touted as his comeback film...u ve a very very good writing skill mixed wid lot of humor esp in tamil....kudos and keep writing...i luved that nakki nakki saapidar...blog..think no one can describe the thayir sadam saapidara instructions better than u...

Anonymous said...

Hey,

This one is cool... I really laughed to the core while reading this.. Gud work dude..

Kind reg,
Svetha

Eskayem said...

Gosh! Blogeswari.

Kalakkal review OK, but I get the feeling that you stretched yourself to the limit. I mean, yaaraiyaavadu thittanum-na kooda namba energy kooka waste avudille.

Anyways, a friend send ur review to me on mail coz I review Telugu movies these days for The Hindu in Hyderabad. Pl. keep in touch.

Anonymous said...

Wonderful review and neatly stated ... this movie was awful and I was extremely annoyed having spent the money for it and waited in line for such a long time. I can honestly say that watching the movie was only worth it, to read this review and commiserate!

Well written.

Anonymous said...

Wonderful review and neatly stated ... this movie was awful and I was extremely annoyed having spent the money for it and waited in line for such a long time. I can honestly say that watching the movie was only worth it, to read this review and commiserate!

Well written.

Vikram said...

Having described everything, you missed the kernel of the movie, the DON, Mexican Pichumani. Very bad on your part!!

Sreekrishnan said...

i think your review is more hilarious than the movie itself !

Sriram said...

Kandasamy-a kizhichu kandal aakitenga ponga! :D

Anonymous said...

Vadivelu style: Chai... Edhukku indha bild-up-ooooo. indha film-ku. This film is a utter crap. I lost the value I had on Vikram. So all those tv interviews and bild-up i saw on tv was a waste. I will not watch any more vikram movie without reading reviews. Vikram, if you do movies like this soon you will be in all those old goose heros like satyaraj, sarath kumar etc., Total waster of time and money. Dont watch this movie

Anonymous said...

Kozhi Saamy, you got a muttai mark for this film. If i see any director or hero, heroins give a puild-uppp interview on tv before the movie release I will break the tv. Indha naarai pasanga puild-upp thaanga mudilada saamy. I wish sherya vanishes very soon in market. Chai, indha movie paatha kodumaya oru full adicha kooda povadhu. Narai...Narai...Narai...
Naarai Saamy

Anonymous said...

I was waiting for this movie very eagerly and they just killed all our expectations. 100% waste. Watch Indian, Ramana, Anniyan, Sivaji, Ayan and few more movies. And then ask Vikram to do all the roles in these movies, cut and join them together and release it as Kandhal sorry Kandha Saamy. It will become a Sangu saamy. Like they said in the movie, they could have given all those crore money to poor poeople instead of gave it to vikram, sherya and the crew.

Chennaimoms said...

Hi,

The review is hilarious. I thank the mom who has posted your blog's link in my website. If you like to know other mom's comments as well, just click here:

Teesu (very very Indian, very very good) said...

I trust and go by your reviews. You know that. Even when they make me guffaw in the middle of a quiet Monday morning at home!! I have always said this and now, heartily, I second Ummon's comment here. Will sms you on this. Fab review of course. However, for Vikram, I will watch it and think of you and your comments:)

Has to be me said...

Ayoo what a let down of KSamy! I was wanting to watch it till I read this!! Lousy! Been a long while since I saw a good film!

Purple Butterflies In The Stomach said...

Kalkiteenga....
Susi Ganesan Oosi pona ganesan nu prove pannitaaru

Arul said...

I agree with your review. I felt that this was a remake of Sivaji for vikram with similar sentiments and goals. After a long time I convinced myself to come out of my self woven cocoon and watch a tamil movie. I guess I need to go back into my cocoon.

Balajee S.K. said...

Hey all,
I feel this review is one's own perception. But i feel tht the movie is quite gud. I also think it is bad to put one's opinion on other's head...
Any ways gud comedy review.. may be the author can try directing comedy spoof...

he hee heee ... :)

SanjaiGandhi said...

hahahaha.. naan thaanu paartha neenga ipdi pinni pedalethu irukingale :))))

email la rounds vara aarambichachi intha post :)

superb..

Lavanya Seetharaman said...

Soooooooooooperuuuuuuuuu review..:)

Anonymous said...

I read a news today that Nondha Samy overtake collection of 37 crores and beat Sivaji in collection. How can it be? Or is it just a humpback by Mr.Nondha Samy vikram? There is not even a single part that is likeable about this movie and how it can collect that much of money?

Anonymous said...

WELL...... JUST PAYING A $10 TICKET DOES NOT GIVE SOMEONE SO MUCH RIGHTS TO BRING DOWN SO MUCH EFFORTS IN MAKINFG A MOVIE.... I GUESS YOU JUST DONT SEE THE POINT .. YOU WILL APPRECIATE A HOLLYWOOD MOVIE WHERE SOMEONE BECOMES A SPIDERMAN BECAUSE SPIDER BIT HIM.. BUT SAME THINGS WHEN APPLIED IN A TAMIL MOVIE WILL BE UNACCEPTABLE... U WILL APPRECIATE A "BRUCE ALMIGHTY". BUT WHEN A TAMIL HERO HAS SPECIAL POWERS U WILL MOCK AT HIM.. WHAT A BAD REVIEW...ESPECIALLY I HATE THAT TELUGU PARA....

WHY DONT YOU PLS TAKE SOME TIME AND USE YOUR CREATIVITY & TIME IN MAKING A SHORT FILM OR EVEN A NICE APPRECIABLE HOME VIDEO. THAT IS TIME WELL SPENT INSTEAD OF GIVING SUCH HATEFUL REVIEWS.

THE MOVIE WAS NOT THAT GOOD.I HATED VADIVELU PART IN THE MOVIE. SHERYA SUCKED AT IT.. MEXICO PITCHUMANI WAS BAD TOO..BUT DEFINTELY THE MOVIE WAS BETTER THAN YOUR REVIEW...

Chanakya said...

Damaging but strightforward opinion. Such comments will only make the producers think twice before launch an assignment

Balajee S.K. said...

Please see this..


http://www.indiaglitz.com/channels/tamil/review/9204.html

Anonymous said...

Wonderful review

Anonymous said...

Had fun reading this... now read this to Laugh Out and really roll down your stairs.... Galatta illeppa lollataannu vachirukkanum peri http://tamil.galatta.com/entertainment/review/reviewnews/n/1602/movie/Kanthaswamy.html

marina said...

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Play the Tata Safari Kanthasamy Contest by Answering a simple question win 2 tickets to Paris.
Log on to http://www.safarikanthaswamy.com/

Sam said...

Aaah.. ithu thaampa review! kalakiteeenga paati :P

Ashish said...

To the Anonymous person who wrote all caps at 02 September, 2009 08:59:
Writing all caps on the net means you are yelling. If you are going to comment about making a short film, please google 'pfcone' (pfc - Passion for Cinema) and look at the short films entered by normal working people. They have way much more talent than the idiots in Kollywood!
And stop yelling!
Review was superb! I am a Vikram fan but this was a waste of money.
Ashish

Rafiq Raja said...

Wonderful and hilarious review. I couldn't stop laughing even at midnight (don't know what others in family, would have thought about it).

The movie deserves every bit of the critics it has been receiving. Wonder, why Vikram chose this concept to make his comeback. Instead, he could spend some 4,6 months project to a young aspiring director, to set his path right back in to the media. 2 years of work wasted to the core.

Couldn't watch the movie for more than 20 minutes on home theatre itself... i wonder what paint it would have gone through in the minds and hearts of those poor souls in the theatre.

Thanks for a good write-up Blogeswari :)

prashanth said...

awesome review. d best eva review i hav read!!!

Sharath said...

Wow...its been a while I have read reviews like these..Kozhisaamy. Whoever it is kalakittama.

Hamsini said...

FANTASTIC REVIEW!!! I was lmao'ing all the way!! :D

stagedseven said...

I love your review- only because I worked as an asst director for this director once, and what you said about the Spanish, English DVDs- is oh so true.

Kudos, add another reader to your blog =)

And yeah totally beats all the other fluff of reviews out there!

Ash said...

Brilliant review

Casey said...

Your review of the movie was simbly funtastic. I sat through the entire movie hoping for some respite. Nah!! Never hpnd. The kozhikirukkal was really too funny :D
http://caseyskorner.wordpress.com/

sruthiradhakrishnan said...

Though I've been reading your blog for quite some time, this is the first time I'm commenting.

It was hilarious. I love how you manage to say something good about the movie as well!

Anonymous said...

Kandasamyya paathu naan kandhal saamy!!

Anonymous said...

Kandasamyya paathu naan kandhal saamy!!

Viper said...

ROTFL!!! Paisa vasool after reading this review!

Deepa said...

Hahahaha......Blogeswari, you are so witty. I like your reviews. You can start writing comedies for movies.

Anonymous said...

I couldn't agree with you more...