Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Ingredients of a Hit Tamizh film these days

  • Daadi hero, lungi, no kuliyal for 1 month trained at 'koothu Pattarai'. If Koothu Pattarai not available, former assistant directors would do - 1 number
  • Ennai vazhiyara, no make-up 'Chechi' heroine - 1 number
  • Aadu - 1 dozen
  • Maadu - 2 dozens
  • Over smart kids befriending hero /heroine saying 'Ennangraa' - 1 dozen
  • 'Iyalbaana mugangal' also known as Nadikka teriyaada faces who give no or less selavu to producer - 15 numbers
  • Amma character - 150 decibels minimum
  • Appa character - Indecipherable Madurai slang - 1 number (iduve taangadu)
  • Character aaaaartistes who will get speshal mention in Sun TV program and interview on (Sug)Haasini pesum padam - 3 numbers
  • Director who can use terms like 'Feel panni' 'pongi ezhuvaa', 'avangaloada naamalum travel pandrom' - 1 number
  • Music Launch - 1 big number with Mu.Ka and gang as chief guest
  • Kamalagaasan or Rajnikant at the music launch talking about how they azhudufyed and didn't sleep for a day after watching climax- 1/2 hour footage each with 5 commercial breaks on Sunnnn TV ; 10 breaks on Vijay TV
  • K Balachandar's handwritten letter to director on how he didn't sleep for two days after watching the climax - 1 number (published on Behindwoods, and India glitz courtesy PRO Nikhil Murugan)
  • Special screenings for Rajni Sir, S P Muthuraman Sir, Shankar Sir, Mu. Ka family * 2 (One for Gopalapuram and the other for Oliver Road) and yes, Boney Kapoor-ji who will buy the rights and remake it with Salman Khan - 5 numbers

Whether or not the film has all or any of the above, the film has to have a 'shocking climax' which should compulsorily include Tamizh cinemavin talai-ezhuttu i.e the heroine's rape scene so that the moment people are out of the theaters they update their fb/ twitter a/cs with their reviews like 'Disturbing yet wonderful climax" 'I am crying after watching this film but thanks to XYZ (husband/bf) who held my hand I am ok.. Love you XYZ".

31 Responses:

Kaarthik said...

ROTFL post from u after a long time :-)

Aravind said...

lol!
but you left out Kuthu paatu! :P

கா.கி said...

endha padam paatthu indha awakening???

vijay03 said...

Ha ha super :) You left out Bombay-imported-heroinea-vida-azhaga-irukara extras - 20 nos :P

Anonymous said...

Actually it should be Boney Kapoor-ji or one of Salman's close producer friends.

Meera said...

Paruthi Veeran and Subramaniapuram.. after tht everything was xeroxed i think :( Stayed clear of Mynaa and Aadukalam..but ingredient mix super and bang on the buck ;D

Anonymous said...

Yeppadi pannunaalum ottureengha...neenga oru padam yedungalaen...

Suguna said...

Haha I like Mu Ka *2...! And what about maasa kannakka thalai vaarikkaadha (seevikkaadha?) graamatthu paati who beats up hero in a scene that masquerades as comedy.

Extra-Ordinarily Ordinary said...

I have been pretty much saying this ever since Subramaniapuram - which was an overhyped piece of nonsense. If that movie had had Surya or Vijay or Ajith doing it, it would have been slammed and it would have flopped. Just because 4 vennai vetties with their velaangaadha moonji, enhanced by azhukku, pen-oorum dhaadi, it was deemed a classic. Using this same formula, Nadodigal, Paruthiveeran, Mynaa - ellame orey nonsense dhaan.

Idhai Orkut TCC la ketta, Madurai people are violent and like this only and they accused me of having an urban bias.

And regarding Balachander, someone needs to steal his letter pad real soon.

Rajni and Kamal must be locked in a house and only be let out to act in movies. Seeing MMA, Kamal should not even be let out to do that.

Mahesh said...

Extra-Ordinarily Ordinary said...comment was absolute hilarious than the post.


Excellent :-)

Teesu (very very Indian, very very good) said...

Yellaa unnmeiy-laam solliputte po. Jolly a irundhudhu to read. Azhukku mootai heroes are NOT attractive no matter how supposedly adept at aruvaal wielding they are. :D

Anonymous said...

You should watch Adukalam. Dhanush fits the role excellently and not to forget huge thugs with veechu aruval and katthi kapada to slit each other.

Venki said...

Bracket la iduve thaangathu... romba arputham.

Sreekrishnan said...

its just the rush of village subjects neglected for a long time right after Bharathiraja went out of scene. Remember 90s with Vijay Ajith and others [and Charlie] came up with so called "City" subjects.

This is just the reversal of trend. Matter of time before Gautam and co starts coming up with complete city subjects ... where an Ameer or Bala would pull it back

A cycle !

Sangeetha said...

http://kbalakumar.com/2010/10/22/madurai-makes-it-possible/ something more.

Deepa Krishnan said...

Babe, my husband and I have been laughing so much today that it hurts. You are a *gem*, da!

Anyway. I came over here to ask you if you want to come to Sewri on Feb for flamingo thingy. I am going. Call me or email me, deepa@mumbaimagic.com, my cell no is on Mumbai Magic website.

Asha said...

semma ragalayana post!

Gin said...

great post!!
i hate listening to these new-age self taught directors when they claim that they make movies that are 'realistic'. one word- "crap"

only one dialogue comes to my mind - nagesh saying in kaadhalikka neramillai -
"ellam ready... indha kadha.... adhu dhaan kedaikkamaatengadhu"

Anonymous said...

why no reviews? would like to
hear from you about manmadhan ambu though belated...

hemloc said...

The Producer has to have access to the complete movie and its content, but cannot curtail its pace neither the content. Producer simply is a businessman, with lil craftmanship.

However when he directly or indirectly controls, what he should not, the Movie as a project goes for a toss.

Further, As a industry, bollywood is very reluctant for risk - trial and error method.

I cannot even count 1 movie in the decade which played a risk quotient in the content or the anything else.

Better quit bollywood, only peace is malludom, where atleast u ll not survive this heartbreaks of the screenplay failures. try even MArathi movies of this decade

The Mad Jammer said...

ROFL. Wht about the edupu showing ammani who comes in random scenes?

Saravanan said...

And the director must be from Madurai talking about how everyone demotivated him saying this movie wont be a hit.. and how much strong he was about his script and was sticking on to it...
Even in 'Sootting spaat' when someone suggested to change that climax 'saatt' he refused.

Deepa said...

Nothing beats the last line. Love you.:-)

Zarine Mohideen said...

Lol.. SO true!

Sriram said...

ha ha supereeeeaaabu...

VK said...

First time here and I had a stomach ache after reading two of your posts!!
Kalakkiteenga ji!!

Anonymous said...

nallathan irukku.... aana periya paruppu mathiri elutharenu thonuthu

Ganga said...

it was so obvious to see the Mynaa hero do the same head shake like the Subramanyapuram guy... 1 was good.. 2 was ok... 3..4..5..6..7...... haiyo kodumai!!

Anonymous said...

5 breaks on sun tv and 10 breaks on vijaytv...lol i love this.

Punitha Muniandy said...

ROTFL :)

pawan said...

just chanced upon your blog now. definitely adds to the humor quotient of my day.