Chennai Express

This is what the movie's trailer promised.

A flim on Soueeth Indian log - Check

Saarugaan acting as ..Sa..er..rug..kkhan - Check

Tamizh characters who speak bad tamizh - Check

Tamizh characters who speak terrible tamizh - Double Check

Deepika in something called half saree which is less than 1/4 saree - Check * 100 times

Cars, cars and more cars toppling - Check

Bad music - Triple check

For everything unimportant like logic, authenticity, decent sets, dialogues, acting, accent that's questioned in Indhi films, the reply these days I get is "Kya yaar this is a Rohit shitty film.. what did you expect?" Ok then !

Spoilers ahead (idula oru build-up vera)

Ready Steady Ponga da dei!

Saarugaan is 40 year old Rahul (wow, what a name!) living with grandmother and his very-funny-you-see Dadaji with Harry Potter thaatha level beard . Thaatha dies when he's 99 years old when Sachin tendulkar gets out at 99.  Rahul is more interested in going to Goa than going to Rameshwaram to karachify the ashes of dadaji. He poi-pulugifyes to his paatti that's he off to Soueeth ke India and gets on to Chinnai express. He meets Meenamma (Padukone) who is chased by her 'gunda' cousins for escaping from their village because she doesn't want to marry 'Thangha Bhali' her morai-payan or some such thing. Rahul wants to help Meenamma and both arrive at her village. Whether Rahul successfully fell in love with Meenamma and if she managed to escape from getting married to Thangha Bhali is the story.

Dadar station-il oru DDLJ 

This DDLJ film. I have never bothered to see it nor do I intend to watch its 1000th premiere on tv and scream "awwwwwwww.... DDLLJJJJJJ... cho chweet!!!" especially when Lata Mangeshkar & Kumar Saanu sing "Tujheeennn dekhaaan to yeehh" . Saari ba! The scene where Deepika Padukone and thugs are saved by Saarugaan is a DDLJ spoof-aam. Makkal ore da laughing. We were laughing looking at the crowd laughing. Seri kaamedy.

Thamil language ko thenth day manaya

So we thought Mehmood killed Tamil. Dheephika Phadukhone ghoes a steph fhurther and does thenth day, thirteenth day khaariyam and all phlaying an authentic Thamilian speaking lhike this. Was Vicks one of the sponsors of the film? There was a hundred brands in the initial credits so I may have missed it. Dheephika Phadhukhone perpetually spoke like someone had inserted a tudappa kuchi in her nostrils. 

Ennamma Kannu Sowkyama to EKSI

Sathyaraj is the dreaded Don a.k.a 'Pheriyah Thalai' in this film. In the first scene as he appears you say "Wow, nammaaLu kalakka-p-poraaru" . He says "Ennamma kannu sowkyama?" You clap and whistle and all. But then when scene after scene he walks & says "Ennamma kannu sowkyama" you feel so sorry for him having been reduced to one dummy piece. In Thillu Mullu Thengai Srinivasan's words our manasatchi asks us "Idhula enna perumai?" every time you think of "our" Sathyaraj in a mainstream Indhi cinema. EKSI!

V&S for VRS

This was one of the most boring soundtracks in recent Indhi padams. Song after song sounded exactly what these guys have been producing for 15 years now. No wonder there was an additional song added for the much-needed buzz to the music of the film. Time for VRS , V&S.  

Toy Train 

Dheepikha Phadhukone's village 'Komban' (and like most of us wonder if it's an elephant or a village) makes Doordarshan Tuesday drama set backdrops with the same flower vase and azhukku curtain look like epics . There are some characters who come as cousins, friends, villagers of Komban who make you want to give an Oscar award to Sam Anderson's makeup and costumes. I actually wanted to check if the movie was called 'Chennai Express' or Toy Train. 

Bogut Bogut Funny hai

When there is no umpteenth DDLJ spoof or SRK's self-reference for the millionth time, there's super funny amazingly hilariously comedy of a dialogue "Don't underestimate the power of a common man" for which junta puts a super laugh. Kyun why yean endukku ? Someone tell me yaar!

Eid ka chand aur Idli ka chutney

Also this pyaar for SRK. I see these "Maine aaj SRK dekha. Kal Eid hai" "SRK ko dher saara pyaar" "SRK tu Eid ka chand ... main Idli ka chutney" type messages from ladies log on fb and twitter. So people actually love and like this fellow and his face-a? Mereko samajh nahin Aatha Amma!

End mein kya bolta

Ok it's an Indhi padam and a Saaruk kaan padam. Add Rohit shitty also. So leave brain, liver, logic, kidney & all home firstu. The movie is not an aruvai like 'Ra.Ayyayo One' or 'Jab tak hai Javvu' but that does not make this an epic film. 

The film is a cardboard version of all Tamizh and telugu masala films which include Ghilli, Chandramukhi, Muthu, a dozen MGR films etc. Ya there is some Sivaji Ganesan type acting also by Saarugaan in the end. 

Bockwass express - Tamizh cinema vaazhga ! 2.5/5

(Now if someone could please tell me why these Naarth Indians were laughing so much in the theatre. Total entertainment happened looking at them loffing lyk anything)