Happy New Year

Every year, as part of the Deepavali inaam (Diwali baksheesh), is set aside a sum as 'Deepavali Dhandam' for a Saarugaan film that releases every year on the festival day. This year was no different. Happy New Year (HNY) starring Saarugaan + 6-7 odd edubidis is in the theatres. This review is to spare you from this mega bore so that you can save the money and spend it for dog biscuits, yet-another-iphone-cover, Saravana Bhavan idli and so on.

It's a 3 hour long film where the first 15 minutes are set aside for brand credits. From Anjaal aluppu marundhu to Amazon there were 20 odd names as 'Brand partners'. 15 minutes in the end were for end credits out of which 14 1/2 minutes for 'Team SRK' with a dozen people dancing around. Have to admit the end credits are the best part of Farah Khan's films where you get to see the faces behind camera.

Saaarugaan is some brilliant boxer... No no... Expert student... No no fitness freak... No no, he plays Revenge Ranganathan ( oh how i love using 1y3ng0rz names for such "characters") who has been wanting to taking revenge on Jackie Shroff for 8 years for imprisoning his father Anupam Kher. He puts together a team of losers who decide to rob some Diamonds in Dubai, apdiye dance around, goof around , crack some stupid jokes and... Shabba, by the time the film ends you have a good 'korattai based' nap. Ulagam Suttrum vaaliban had a better storyline da, dei Saarugaan.

Deepika Padukone looks very good and has spared us, Tamizh folks, from her 'Bokwaaas baat'. She plays a Marathi mulgi and dances in a bar, is hopelessly in love with Saarugaan.  I really miss our house-help lady (nicknamed GT) who used to work with us in Madras in the '80s and '90s. GT would have made a fantastic choreographer for Deepika's intro song. C'mon, for years, GT, every Friday evening would do her 'Saami vandha aattam' at the Kadumbaadi Amman temple. No different from what Deepika was made to do in the 'Lovely' song.

This year, composer 'Durvaasar Dudlani' has been busy wielding a broom, putting a cap asking makkal to vote for Aap and in that, has given Aappu to Saarugaan. He, along with Segar have this standard template of songs for all their albums.

Heroine intro a.k.a Saamiyaattam song sung by the "latest sensation" - tick

Lou song with Shreya Ghoshal / Arijit type or both - tick

One gumbaloda Govinda dandanakka 'Hum hain Hindustani' song - tick

Not a single song was good. Time for them to take a break... Oh wait. 

'Ayyo paavam' Bachchan is now the Santhanam of Bollywood. He should stick to such roles and not try and be main hero and all. His few gags were funny. Boman Irani and Naseeruddin Shah pullai play two more edubidis. Sonu Sood should come back to Telugu films where he, with his "Ekkadanchi choosthavaa Champisstanu raaaaa" will get more screen time than in this film.

Remember the MGR-Asogan-Nambiar "Jaani,..Peterrr...Jumbooo" films where the villains were in one unknown hideout and the hero goes in search of them, opens a cave like structure (with a gadagadagada sound)? Those had better sets than HNY. Such tacky cardboard stuff by the art director. Sagikkalai.

At one point, there is a "Apne Apne Nokia phones uthayiye,vote kijiye" dialaak. Such brand plugging and all, abachaaram. This is allowed only for Delhi clients :-) okay, may be it was Nokia - Delhi client, so blanket permission to use brand names in the stationality...er.. meant film. {Okay for those of you who got the sly, Yay to us :)}

These Farah Khan films are like Hindi FM radio stations who, for some 12+ years have been 

writing radio ads with Sholay "Basantiiii... Thakur" type Aracchamaavu dialaaks. And just like the Radio copywriters this Farah Khan and team put self applause at their own spoofs and it is supposedly funny. HNY is the 3678465th film with "Bade bade Shehron mein Chhote chhote mannangatti..." Dialaak. After a point, every dialaak seemed like a spoof to me.

Aappu New Year - 2.5/5