Escooos me ..

21 days privilege leave, 10 days casual leave, 10 sick leave - some expire, some don't, some can be encashed, some can be carried forwarded... How on earth does one keep track of these leaves? Come January and I start planning when to take what leave calling admin now and then on the leaves that expire, ones that don't etc etc. I think A, the darling admin person goes pichaxing her head with my never-ending queries. Touchwood, I don't fall sick very often... usually down with fever for a maximum of 1-2 days in a year and that's usually on a weekend :( Madras trips are combined with long weekends - so that's a max 5-6 days off in a year. Holiday with the purusan is usually twice a year and we haven't gone for a long holiday in two years. So I have hajjaaar leave days accumulated. Getting these sanctioned is a different issue altogether. ... And there are these days when you just don't want to go to work [ya, everyday!]...days when you want to hangout with your pals, catch a film, lunch, shop - basically have fun on a weekday . The thrill of bunking on a weekday just-for-fun is ultimate. With the ten 'casual leave' days that expire in the same year adding the fact that you cannot take more than three casual leaves at any single point, there is a huge problem of the 'excuses' that you give your boss for bunking and use all your 'casual leaves' in the same year.

I have a standard SMS saved - "Hi _____, I am down with fever. Will not be able to come to work. Regards, ____" . Ofcourse I rephrase it umpteen times before pressing the send button. "Wont be able to ?" "Will not be able to?" "Will be unable to ?" - With my limited Shakespearan knowledge inda ingleees vera tollai. And this just like that bunking happens at least 5-6 times in a year. And every time its a struggle to think of new excuses. I am amazed by the just-like-that pulugus people give. Here's a list of anda pulugus and aagasa pulugus that I have been hearing from school days till now by people who bunk exams, important meetings, school functions etc.

1. Appendicitis - The most commonestest excuse - be it school or office. Usually used to bunk exams. An Appendicitis treatment takes about 4-5 days and fits in beautifully as an escoos to bunk a week-long exam. Of course you have your dear old doctor chitappa, doctor mama to give you the 'medical certiphicate' and bail you out.

2. Jaundice - For a month-long two-month long leave from school / college when the school has completed the syllabus and expect you to come to school for revision tests, jaundice is of great help. Dutifully supported by parents and Dr. chitappas and perippas students say "I have Jaundice miss" and study to become a 'soda buddi- topper in Dinathanthi first page'. While in college, one vettu-vaettu bunked for a whole three months 'coz she had 'jaundice' and sat at home studying for her CAT, BAT, RAT and MAT exams.

3. Headache - Best escoos for one day offs. But I have problems justifying. Once I had bunked with a talavali escoos and when I came back the following day, a colleague asked "What happened?" I said "What happened??" . She , "Are you ok?" Me, almost forgot the escoos I had given the previous day having shopped, eaten, watched a film "Errr.. ya... I mean...well I am... [checking my previous day's SMS to boss].. you know ... this stupid HEADACHE... ". She again , "Migraine hai kya?" Me wondering if I should go the dreaded migraine route, "Not really, but ya I mean sometimes... headache and you know ... the weather...and..." - Aaala vidudaa saaami I had to sneak out literally not wanting to continue with the conversation further. 

4. Migraine / Sinusitis - Of late everybody has been suffering from either Migraine or Sinus which seem to have replaced Appendicitis. Best for 3-4 days leave. You can always come back sniffing , teary-eyed thanks to a handful of Vicks you apply just before coming to work. And the best part of Migraine and Sinusitis is that they can be used for repetitive bunking. You can bunk 3-4 days every three months and say "Migraine" "Sinus" . 

5. Dental leave - The latest fad in town. Obviously nobody dare ask you to open your mouth and check. 3-4 days leave - 1st day = "majjjjjjjjjjjor pain, couldn't eat, couldn't sleep'" 2nd day = "Went to doc, did some tests". 3rd day = "root canal !" . 4th day = "majjjor pain after root canal" . Today [ensure you keep your hand on the chin] "Majjjor pain but I sooo wanted to come and finish the work!" Dental always has repeat telecast value 'coz you bunk the next month and say"Last month it was molar... and this month it is polar" or something like that and repeat the entire process. 

6. Stomach ache - Not a great excuse... coz this, particularly for women is usually connected with 'those three days' and hence avoidable. Why go through questions "Do you always get pain? My pain lasts for 5 days but maximum in the 3rd day" - Now why would you want to come back to office after a fun day out with the stomach ache escooos and listen to the 'painful' details? 

7. M-i-l, f-i-l not well - Arrgh! How can one even think of getting other people fall sick for your own good? Two years ago we had strict instructions not to take off during November during a particular activity and Madam G had already booked her tickets for a vacation. So she bunked one day suddenly sending an SMS to boss that her m-i-l wasn't well and she had to rush to Delhi. I believed the story till I overheard (ya ya the same ottukettaal) her speaking to her kalla-kaadhalan in office who was telling her to get Biryani from Hyderabad on her return. Kashtam pa!

8& 9. Accident, Baby and other chillarai escooses - Apart from the above, I have been listening to "I had an accident suddenly - a lorry hit my car... thankfully nothing happened to me... car is f#^$^" and so I can't come for the meeting". "Househelp not come. Have to take care of my baby who isn't well " - I'd like to believe that this is a genuine excuse.

10. Down with fever - Safe ,secure, cheap and best. No questions asked the following day. You can fall ill, recover the following day and leave for office. And when you really are un-enthu to go back to work, you can fall ill again. Sniff and be back the next day. Naan 'Down with fever' daan ubayogikkaren. Neenga?