Kaminey

Twins - one good - the other not so good , separated not by birth but out of mutual consent. They do get together in the end not before a series of brawls, dishoom dishooms, dishkaaon dishkaoons and a whole lot of Kaminey wars.

Charlie the baddie is a small time gangster and Guddu his twin bro an NGO worker. Guddu is in love with Sweety [Priyanka Chopra], sister of ‘Jai Maharashtra’ gangster and politician Bhupe [Amol Gupte]. Charlie chances upon a guitar with Cocaine worth ten crores. Just when he thinks he has made it big with all the money, enter a whole lot of Kamineys from Kenya to Kolkata who want their share of the big pie chasing Charlie. Guddu’s track runs parallely – romance with Sweety, getting her pregnant and eventually getting married to her. Bhope is against the marriage and chases Guddu. Guddu’s and Charlie’s chasers collide and thus their tracks…

Fhahid Kapoor and other kuttaes n' kamineys

Formerly known as 'Poor man's Shahrukh', Shahid Kapoor sheds his chocolate boy – Prem-Raj-Rahul image and what you see is a completely new Shahid through and through.

Charlie’s fpoonerisms sound quite funny and you actually look forward to them. And how did he manage to get that muscular look, despite being a vegetarian? Protein fhakes or fteroidf? Guddu is charming and his romantic track with Sweety is quite cute. Watch out for the bits when he stutters and she tries to guess whatever he tries to say and viceversa. Priyanka and Shahid - the hottest new couple in Bollywood.

Priyanka Chopra springs a surprise as the Marathi mulgi Sweety. Amol Gupte’s character – Bhupe is something we have seen in umpteen Ram Gopal varma films but his performance is top-notch. Yes we have seen the other characters- Lobo, the corrupt cop , Mikhail – the cocaine addict in a dozen Hindi films but theatre guy Shiv subramaniam and Chandan Roy Sanyal are superb in their parts. The casting for even the smallest of small characters is bloody apt.

Dhantaanaaaan...

...hated this song in the beginning and wondered what the hype was all about 'coz I heard it without the initial Dhantanaaaaaan... Probably the only non-Rahman Hindi song that I have had as a callertune. This film could be called Vishal Bharadwaj's special tribute to R D Burman - not just in the above song but throughout the film.

KamiYES!

OMG! The cinematography! Tassadaq Hussain makes you fall in love with the characters. The camera work is brilliant, blends beautifully with the raw appeal of the film. There are no rich colours, twilight shots, rain-soaked actress in red duppatta singing amidst blue and green settings - What you see on screen is what the movie is - dark and raw!

I am no action movie buff. But action director Shyam Kaushal - particularly in the climax - Pinnittaaru. You wonder if you are watching a Hollywood action flick in this bit.

The film's flawless editing has been credited to two people- Meghna Manchanda Sen and Sreekar Prasad.

Scenes like the ones where Guddu is made to sing during the interrogation 'coz that's the only way he won't stutter, Charlie singing n dancing with the guitar, Sweety's "I love you ....more than Bengalooru, ....Tiruvananthapuram" are quite mad in their own way.

KamiNAY!

The film is slow in pieces and some characters are kinda typecast though the performances are superb. There are just too many characters and probably one of the reasons I'd want to go to the theatre again to get their names, to catch bits I may have missed in certain characters when busy looking at others.

You can't help but compare it with Angrezi / other firangi films. It has that hangover which irks me a bit.

Towards the climax, just when you are looking forward to something exciting, BANG ! there comes a Mohit Chauhan-ish song ! And yes, how can I forget the damn so Bollywood-ey twin ka beta twin in the end . Such a dampener!

And fo...

(yes I know that I am overdoing the 's' to 'f' bit... but let me ... no, please? I am liking it!)

This is probably a first-of-its-kind film in Indian cinema and so you will definitely need sometime to get used to the movie . You turn here n there - to munch your popcorn, to check your SMS - sorry, you miss something important.

Almost all movie buffs in the city were looking forward to watch the film during the weekend. The theatres were shut (H1N1 scare) on Fri, Sat and Sun. As soon as they reopened on Monday, the entire team from office went for the first day first show [for Mumbaikars, it was] yesterday. Monday being Monday, I was busy answering one or two text messages arggh! missed a few dialogues and the nuances in one or two scenes. So, you bleddy well switch off that damn cell phone before you enter the theatre.

If you are someone who loves picturesque locales, Raj ka pyaar, NRI Rahul ka ishq, Gajar ka halwa, Yashjis, Poojas, Kapoors, Switzerland, flight landing, flight taking off, Anaita Sheroff Adajania designed bikinis, Mickey Contractor's cake-up sorry make-up, ironed-hair when just out of bed etc etc in Hindi films- avoid this one. The only thing that you will love is Shahid Kapoor running towards you in the race course.

Music director, Screenplay writer, Director...

...Vishal Bharadwaj - Awesome , awesome!

Kaminey - No Kami in this one- Fooper! - 4 out of 5