Thursday, May 08, 2008

TASHAN

Are there terms better than 'worst film' , 'debacle' ,'disaster', ‘bakhwaas’ 'doobakoor' , 'aruvai / rambham' to describe the most disastrouslytrashybakwaas film ever made? Please help. I need one term that could describe this ^%^%&$%*% called Tashan.

THE BEGINNING

Even before the film commences, you are thrusted with an overdose of soon-to-be-releasing Yash Raj films' trailers - Roadside Romeo, Thoda Pyaar-Thoda Magic etc. all starting with Dadasaheb Phalke Award winner Crow didi who does her 'aaaaah....' when the Yash raj films' logo appears. Jai Maharashtra! Jai Crow didi!

STORY

C-grade Bhojpuri film's story with Anil Kapoor, Saif Ali Khan, Akshay Kumar and Kareena kapoor.

DIALOGUES

Gaalis like B!+$%^ , M@@ #e^%^, done-to-death supposedly comedy stuff like “Bhaiyyaji Khush-hojaying, meeting the peoples” etc which are maha boring.

ART

I guess Yash Raj films ran out of money paying huge sums to the stars that they didn’t have money to spend for Art department. So they decided to put up a shoddy structure at Film city, Goregaon, Mumbai and shoot shoddier stuff there.

STUNTS

Peter hein has pretty much copied most of his stunts from Thalaivar’s SIVAJI THE BOSS. Watch out… rather don’t watch out for the action sequence at a Rajasthan Fort which is a huge disaster. But they outdo themselves and prove that they can be worse! The climax action sequence T-E-R-R-I-B-L-E!

WHAT THE MATTER?

There’s no matter in the film – that’s the matter. We all know that Hindi films are generally trash and rare films like 'Taare zameen par' and 'Rang de basanti' get released once in four years. But Tashan is total rubbish even by Hindi film standards. So you can imagine how terriblytrashysick it could be.

ACTORS

In how many more films are we going to see Saif ali khan talking to the camera saying “Hey C’mon yaar…” Kareena kapoor sure looks hot with her size zero, slim figure and all that. But her pout bugs you. Akshay kumar’s chemistry with kareena is much better than kareena and saif's romantic scene. These try too hard to look romantic. Anil kapoor – Sir, I am glad that you have finally stopped looking like a bear, but sorry now you look like a wildebeest.

CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN?

Why does Kareena dance in her bikini for Chaliya Chaliya when she is supposed to be on the banks of Ganga, immersing her dad’s ashes? And what’s with Akshay-Kareena’s bacchpan ka zamaana scenes? God help us!

MUSIC

'Dil dance maaare' is a super peppy dappanguthu 1980 style number. The title track is peppy and hummable. 'Chaliya chaliya' is so typically… Hindi (read: boring) and Sukhwinder’s other solo number sounds like you have heard it a zillion times in the same style.

BUT THERE'S HOPE

Surprise, surprise! There's no Shahrukh Khan in the film! And for a bigger surprise (relief) -No Amitabh Bacchan too! No Amitabh's voice-over, no abhishek bacchan in a surprise-groom's role, no Shahrukh Khan guest appearance. That's some relief!

I have this gut feel that Yash Raj films will use all its pulling and pushing under the table and before you realise, TASHAN will be the official nominee from India, for the Oscars next year.


SO WHY DID BLOGESWARI DECIDE TO GO FOR THE FILM…

…despite umpteen warnings from well-wishers /press/ public? You see, I work for this super-duper organization that believes in pampering its employees. They believe that we will need to watch films, read blogs, write blogs that’d help improve our creativity (ha! Now you know what I do at work the whole day). So we get these ultra cool movie passes every week that are valid for six months wherein you get to watch any film of your choice at a particular chain of multiplexes. And today, my vettiness quotient was at its peak , so I decided to drag another vetti, and we all the way to this theatre to watch what I call...

T[R]ASHAN – ADITYA CHOPRA KI AAG ! (Thank you Mr. Mawwali, my dear friend for giving me this last line )

15 Responses:

maxdavinci said...

nice post, your last line sums it all up. Its a nice trend wherein every year a major production house delivers the biggest dud of the year.

On the flop side, thaks to such movies the B-Grade industry is loosing ground and unable to hold its own...

ILA said...

//There’s no matter in the film//
Ultimate..

Gayatri said...

Good! now all you have to do is go watch u, me aur hum.. you're set :)

Karthik Sriram said...

Tashan seems to be another Kuruvi. I had the un-explainable curse of seeing Kuruvi (online) and the experience was close to what you'd tashan-ed!!


LKS

buddy said...

anil kapoor now looks like a wildbeest..
lol...

Spacejunk said...

Tashan - anagram : NashTa (meaning destroy it)

moneykandaan said...

hehehe....nanum antha avasthai patten...cheers...

Kuzhambi said...

Hillarious....

Please help. I need one term that could describe this ^%^%&$%*% called Tashan

Just write "Thoo"

Jai Crow didi! - what a phrase

T[R]ASHAN – ADITYA CHOPRA KI AAG. Ithukku meliayum Aditya Chopra oru padam panninan na....athuku mela mariyathai kadiyathu

ambi said...

//Are there terms better than 'worst film' , 'debacle' ,'disaster', ‘bakhwaas’ 'doobakoor' , 'aruvai / rambham' //

Yes, only one word is there Kuruvi :))

The Practical Idealist said...

Are there terms better than 'worst film' , 'debacle' ,'disaster', ‘bakhwaas’ 'doobakoor' , 'aruvai / rambham' to describe the most disastrouslytrashybakwaas film ever made?
Yes, of course - Sivaji, the bussss! Rajini Kanth should think back to his early days, when he acted in films, not just appeared, spoke the same lines ("Naan singam, super star, etc.etc.) a zillion times and disappeared. A sad waste of potential, thanks to super-stardom.

Gaalis like B!+$%^ , M@@ #e^%^, done-to-death supposedly comedy stuff like “Bhaiyyaji Khush-hojaying, meeting the peoples”
LOL!

CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN?

Why does Kareena dance in her bikini for Chaliya Chaliya when she is supposed to be on the banks of Ganga, immersing her dad’s ashes?
Well, since you asked, here's why: she's trying to attract the Gods so that they favour her dead father's soul, you see. You need insight, my child, you need insight ;-)

And well, the only hopes that this film may leave us with is that now that the nadir has been reached, things can only get better. But wait, that's not a hope; that hope is still-born!

ambi said...

பிளாக் அக்கா, இனிய திருமண நாள் நல்வாழ்த்துக்கள்!

Anonymous said...

I shall be wise & take ur advice & surely not watch this trash! :D

- S (Ex - Sun TV)!

Anonymous said...

watch crazy four after this and you will never watch hindi movies again in ur life :P

Ashi said...

Well,I saw Tashan..but was really bored half way through…
The movie didn’t live up to the expectations of a typical Bollywood fan…like me.
Even, Krazzy 4 & Jannat were not that great…

So, not many good movies coming out of Bollywood lately..

But, I’m really looking forward to Love Story 2050, the sci-fi flick of Priyanka Chopra & Harman Baweja..The promos seem really promising & personally I’m very fond of science fiction movies which are very rare in Bollywood..

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