What happens when, on a Wednesday morning...
1. The cook does not turn up
2. Tired after all the cleaning work at home post the month long painting saga
3. I end up bunking office and
4. what's worse... I cook for myself!
Here you go... the height of vettiness a.k.a vellagiri
filmed with : Flip video
தொலைக்காட்சி விளம்பரத்தைவிட,வானொலி விளம்பரம் எழுதுவது கடினம். ஏனெனில், என்னைப் பொறுத்தவரை எண்ணங்களை காட்சி வாயிலாக கொண்டுவருவது எளிது... ஒரே ஒரு சிறிய ஷாட்டின் மூலம் ஒரு பொருளை எளிதாக விளம்பரப்படுத்தமுடியும். ஆனால் வானொலி விளம்பரம் என்பது சொற்கள், இசை, சவுண்ட் எஃபெக்ட்ஸ் அனைத்தையும் உள்ளடக்கியது. எண்ணங்களை ஒலி வாயிலாக வெளிப்படுத்துதல் எளிதன்று.
ஆனால் இப்போது பண்பலை வானொலி நிலையங்களின் ஒலிபரப்பப்படும் பெரும்பாலான விளம்பரங்களில் ஒரு நடிகர் /நடிகை /கிரிக்கெட் வீரரின் குரல் நகலைப் பயன்படுத்தி டீ முதல் டீவி வரை அனைத்துமே விளம்பரப்படுத்தப்படுகின்றன. ஏனெனில், ஒரு பிரபலத்தின் குரலைப் பயன்படுத்தினால் கேட்பவரின் கவனத்தை ஈர்த்து சொல்லவந்த கருத்தை சுலபமாகக் கூறமுடியும். ஆனால் imitate செய்யப்படும் பிரபலத்தின் குரல் original குரலோடு ஒத்துப்போவது மிக அவசியம்.
மும்பையில் குரல் மன்னர்களான சேத்தன் ஷஷிதல் மற்றும் நினாத் காமத் இருவரும் imitate செய்யாத குரல்களே இல்லை எனலாம். நம்பினால் நம்புங்கள். நீங்கள் தினமும் டிவியில் பார்க்கும் ஷாருக், அமிதாப், சச்சின், தோனி,யுவராஜ் போன்றோர் இடம்பெறும் விளம்பரங்களில் 80% இவர்கள் டப் செய்ததே.
அண்மையில் தயாரிக்கப்பட்ட லைஃப்பாய் ரேடியோ விளம்பரம் இது. லைஃப் சோப்பின் brand ambassador யுவராஜ் சிங்க். யுவராஜ்ஜின் சுட்டித்தனத்தை சமாளிக்க முடியாத அவருடைய அம்மா அவரைத் திட்ட, அம்மாவிடமிருந்து அவரை காப்பாற்ற மக்களிடமிருந்து ஐடியா கேட்கிறார் யுவராஜ் - இதுதான் விளம்பரத்தின் முதல் பகுதி.
இதன் Phase II- வாக ரஜினி, அமீர்கான், டெண்டுல்கர் போன்ற பிரபலங்கள் யுவராஜ்ஜிற்கு ஐடியா தருகிறார்கள். யுவராஜ், டெண்டுல்கர் போன்றோருக்கு குரல் கொடுத்தவர் நினாத் காமத். இறுதியில் வரும் வாய்ஸ்-ஓவரும் அவரே. விளம்பரத்தை கூர்ந்து கேளுங்கள். ..குறிப்பாக டெண்டுல்கரின் அட்வைஸ் - இதில் அவர் endorseசெய்யும் எல்லா பிராடக்டுகளைப் பற்றி கிண்டலடிக்கிறார்கள்.அமீர்கான் நடிக்கும் படங்களில் அந்தந்த இயக்குனர்களை dominate செய்யும் அவரது வழக்கத்தையும் விட்டுவைக்கவில்லை லைஃப்பாய்.
லைஃப்பாய் விளம்பரங்கள்
குரல்கள் : நினாத் காமத் (யூவி, சச்சின், ஆமிர் கான், வாய்ஸ் ஓவர்), விஜயராகவன் (ரஜினி)
| Lifebouy - Sachin ... |
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| Lifebouy - Amir Yu... |
The movie was a disaster but I seem to be humming this song non-stop probably because it has some sangadis which are in Carnatic style... and one of the singers Saleem sounds a lot like Rahat Fateh Ali Khan, a truly gifted singer.
| Tashan mein.mp3 |
Carnatic experts, I need help. The raagam of this song is similar to the Brindavana Saranga. Right-a wrong-a?
Picture this - A lonely beach on the Konkan coast, twilight, no mobile, no cell phone....and this song in the background!
Raman Mahadevan's beautiful rendition, Shankar-Ehsaan and Loy's lovely music and neat picturization. Everytime I watch this song, I look forward to the last bit where Darsheel gets senti looking at Aamir's painting.
Mumbai is a city where you get some ultimate cool stuff for 5-1o Rupees. Interesting Toys, cosmetics, utility items, utensils, stationery, books sold at platforms, trains reminds me of Mylapore Arubathumoovar festival when I used to go and buy interesting items.
One such item that a colleague purchased today from a vendor in the local train was a toy helicopter. The helicopter comes with a stand and a string attached to the stand. Once you pull the string, the copter flies up beautifully. What fascinated me most was its price... Rs.10/- only...and if you are a good bargainer Rs.5/= only...
Butterfly clips, magic slate, ear studs.... Watch this space for more cool maals!
This post is not about the three musketeers as promised earlier. I have reserved that post for June, for 'Saappattu' reasons.
To celebrate a super-duper occasion, my better-aaf and I were at Kebabs & Kurries at the ITC Grand Central, Parel. Kebabs & Kurries offers a wide choice for vegetarians unlike other restaurants in the ITC hotel chains in Mumbai.
Dakhni saag is a spinach based gravy with tomatoes, dill leaves, garlic and red chillies. Neither too spicy nor bland, this was an awesome side dish for the parathas. Also was on our attack list, Alu Khush Nama - potato barrels filled with bhoona khoya and potatoes, garam masala, mango powder, green chilli and herb masala tasted divine.
Yaquiti , served cold, was next in line - broken basmati rice and moong dal cooked in milk enriched with khoya and dry fruits. yummmmmy!
As we headed out after a fantastic dinner, I saw the notice board at the hotel corridor with the day's engagements that read : 'Kolkata Knight riders at CJ's' [their conference room]. In my umpteenth attempt to be part of Bombay times Pg-3 I begged my purushan to accompany me to their pub/conference room to have a dekkho at the studs of Kolkata Knight riders. Not wanting to be party to my alpathanams, he said No. Maha disappointed, I got out of the hotel and saw one number 24-24-24 model getting out of a Tata Innova outside. She was quickly followed by a familiar face. "Look there he is, Shoaib Akhtar!" I said. My cricket-crazy hujband was maha thrilled that his cricket-challenged wife could recognize one number cricketer. Little did he know that I overheard all and sundry at the hotel entrance mention Shoaib's name. he he he!
Are there terms better than 'worst film' , 'debacle' ,'disaster', ‘bakhwaas’ 'doobakoor' , 'aruvai / rambham' to describe the most disastrouslytrashybakwaas film ever made? Please help. I need one term that could describe this ^%^%&$%*% called Tashan.
THE BEGINNING
Even before the film commences, you are thrusted with an overdose of soon-to-be-releasing Yash Raj films' trailers - Roadside Romeo, Thoda Pyaar-Thoda Magic etc. all starting with Dadasaheb Phalke Award winner Crow didi who does her 'aaaaah....' when the Yash raj films' logo appears. Jai Maharashtra! Jai Crow didi!
STORY
C-grade Bhojpuri film's story with Anil Kapoor, Saif Ali Khan, Akshay Kumar and Kareena kapoor.
DIALOGUES
Gaalis like B!+$%^ , M@@ #e^%^, done-to-death supposedly comedy stuff like “Bhaiyyaji Khush-hojaying, meeting the peoples” etc which are maha boring.
ART
I guess Yash Raj films ran out of money paying huge sums to the stars that they didn’t have money to spend for Art department. So they decided to put up a shoddy structure at Film city, Goregaon, Mumbai and shoot shoddier stuff there.
STUNTS
Peter hein has pretty much copied most of his stunts from Thalaivar’s SIVAJI THE BOSS. Watch out… rather don’t watch out for the action sequence at a Rajasthan Fort which is a huge disaster. But they outdo themselves and prove that they can be worse! The climax action sequence T-E-R-R-I-B-L-E!
WHAT THE MATTER?
There’s no matter in the film – that’s the matter. We all know that Hindi films are generally trash and rare films like 'Taare zameen par' and 'Rang de basanti' get released once in four years. But Tashan is total rubbish even by Hindi film standards. So you can imagine how terriblytrashysick it could be.
ACTORS
In how many more films are we going to see Saif ali khan talking to the camera saying “Hey C’mon yaar…” Kareena kapoor sure looks hot with her size zero, slim figure and all that. But her pout bugs you. Akshay kumar’s chemistry with kareena is much better than kareena and saif's romantic scene. These try too hard to look romantic. Anil kapoor – Sir, I am glad that you have finally stopped looking like a bear, but sorry now you look like a wildebeest.
CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN?
Why does Kareena dance in her bikini for Chaliya Chaliya when she is supposed to be on the banks of Ganga, immersing her dad’s ashes? And what’s with Akshay-Kareena’s bacchpan ka zamaana scenes? God help us!
MUSIC
'Dil dance maaare' is a super peppy dappanguthu 1980 style number. The title track is peppy and hummable. 'Chaliya chaliya' is so typically… Hindi (read: boring) and Sukhwinder’s other solo number sounds like you have heard it a zillion times in the same style.
BUT THERE'S HOPE
Surprise, surprise! There's no Shahrukh Khan in the film! And for a bigger surprise (relief) -No Amitabh Bacchan too! No Amitabh's voice-over, no abhishek bacchan in a surprise-groom's role, no Shahrukh Khan guest appearance. That's some relief!
I have this gut feel that Yash Raj films will use all its pulling and pushing under the table and before you realise, TASHAN will be the official nominee from India, for the Oscars next year.
SO WHY DID BLOGESWARI DECIDE TO GO FOR THE FILM…
…despite umpteen warnings from well-wishers /press/ public? You see, I work for this super-duper organization that believes in pampering its employees. They believe that we will need to watch films, read blogs, write blogs that’d help improve our creativity (ha! Now you know what I do at work the whole day). So we get these ultra cool movie passes every week that are valid for six months wherein you get to watch any film of your choice at a particular chain of multiplexes. And today, my vettiness quotient was at its peak , so I decided to drag another vetti, and we all the way to this theatre to watch what I call...
T[R]ASHAN – ADITYA CHOPRA KI AAG ! (Thank you Mr. Mawwali, my dear friend for giving me this last line )
I am not a great fan of Northie food especially in restaurants. But Dum Pukht's (ITC Grand Maratha, Andheri east) Dal Bukhara is something that you can die for. Better aaf and I were there last week to celebrate the annual 'Big boss' letter'. The moment you are in, arrives a plate of sliced onions and green chutneys which you can have all day long.
There are few options for vegetarians (as always), so its always Dal Bukhara, mixed kababs and roti /naans for us. The butter naan was out of the world oozing with butter. Mixed kababs is a platter with potatoes, capsicum, cauliflower, panneer (which we avoided) and onions. We were so full at the end of our meal that I had to avoid desserts (cha!).
The Dum Pukht interiors aren't all that great nor is the seating any comfortable. But you get the best Dal in town! yummmm!I want to have lunch now.... for breakfast!
A meal for two costs about....er.... well, why bother? Go there only if you can bill your company for it or if your boss decides to pay!
Saappaturaami rating: 4.5 out of 5
Coming soon... Saappaturaami 5 ->It's all about the three musketeers.
(continued from my earlier post)
Post 2000- there was a new revolution in Mumbai started by the Dilshad, Adhuna, Nalini Yasmin etc. They would do the same cut that a Royal Salooon would give you. The only difference here was....
a) the owners of these salons had an impressive client list - Aamir khan, saarukh khan which implied that Gauri khan, farah khan and 200 other people used to get their hair 'styled' by Dilshad, Adhuna etc.
b) the other hair cutters who worked there were women who had pink and green hair,
c) who chewed bubble gum all the time,
d) who had a hip(pie) look,
e) took 45 minutes to cut three or four extra strands,
f) talk to you about the latest party in town, about your career etc.
g) have a minimum of 5 weird tattoos all over their body
So anyone who would walk into their salons would automatically assume that they were being 'styled' well. Ofcourse all these came for a huge price... a hairstyle for me - i.e. making my boy cut shorter by another inch was something close to Rs.500/= way back in 2001.
Oflate, another hair cutter has joined this group: Sapna Bhavnani. Her claim to fame is
a )Dhoni comes to her salon 'Mad-o-Wot' everytime he is in Mumbai.
b) She writes about her 3rd husband, 23rd ex boyfriend,54th cigarette of the day and her 74th tattoo in a tabloid, every week +
read all points (b) to (g) in the paragraph above. Two months ago, I bumped into an acquaintance on a fine Monday morning. She looked as if she just had a fist fight / kuzhayadi sandai. Her hair looked as if someone had pulled it during a fight. Just when I was about to ask if all was ok with her, she stared at me for about two minutes and asked if she looked 'different' and even before I could say anything our pal said "I had a hair cut...".I had to say "nice...". Madam took over "Ask me who cut my hair...Sapna bhavnani!! cool na!" and walked off without even waiting for my response. A month later, met yet another just-out-of-kuzhayadi-sandai hairdo girl. Kinda avoided eye contact with her to avoid the same embarrassment (for me) but couldn't escape for long. Same question-> "Do I look different?" Same answer-> "well... nice" and yes, the same-> "Sapna Bhavnani... nice na?" What's with Sapna bhavnani? Does she take a vow every morning that she will make atleast 5 people's hairstyles disastrous?
Now let us talk about something more disastrous - My hair style. A few years ago, when I officially entered the kalyana market scene, my dad would meet all prospective guys' parents and the first thing he would tell them (even before jaadagams were exchanged ) was "You see, my daughter has short hair... hope it is ok with you... You see, because it is easier to manage during her (film)shoots, you see..."! Thankfully, I was lucky enough to be married into a Tam-Brahm family which did not insist on long hair, mookutti, metti, varalakshmi viradam, yearly madisar sessions, "samaikka teriyuma?" etc. Out of sheer enthu-ness to look a li'l lady like on my wedding day, I did grow my hair a bit for three months and tolerated those irritating strands falling on my neck in peak summer. Thankfully, the first person post wedding who told me "unakku long hair nanna suit aagalai... cut pannidu" (long hair does not suit you, please cut it!) was my m-i-l! Even before I stepped into my mamiyar veedu a.k.a sasuraal I went straight for a cutting and vetting.
Over the last few years, my hip hair salon experiments have included straightening, boy cut, baaf cut, step cut, mushroom cut etc etc. ranging from Rs.200/= to Rs.4000/= These days, I am back to my good old cutting and vetting. This time its Geetha- One fundu hair cutter - She may not have given me a great hairstyle but the best part about her is - No tattoogiri, no pink and green hair, no asking "Aren't you doing something for your hair? It's so.....dry" kinda nonsense. I walk in.She asks me "So which cut would you like?"My usual response "Please make it short...thank you". One cutting and vetting... matter over in ten minutes.
Glossary
kuzhayandi sandai - a famous battle for water on the streets of Chennai
kalyana market - marriage mandi
Varalakshmi viradam - 1/2 a karwa chauth (you fast only for half a day for your hujband)
madisar - nauvari sari
Baaf cut - Bob cut!
I have always sported a short hairdo.When I was a kid Royal Saloooon in Madras, our family barber was paid a visit atleast once in two months along with my uncle and it was oru cutting and vetting - matter over in 5 minutes. One of my aunts started calling me 'Sona' after Jayapradha's character in the film Ninaithaley Inikkum in which she had a short haircut.
In school we had compulsory pinnal which meant oiled hair, centre parting with two (invisible) pinnals and bright parrot green colour ribbons. When I was 12 or so, I started feeling a little awkward at Royal Salooon, being the only woman customer amidst hajaar men and thus started my first visit to the parlour. I walked into a parlour near my place and one of the parlour ladies asked me "Baby, which cut you want?" I vividly remember my answer, "Which cut will suit me, that cut you do!"... he he he. So matter was over in ten minutes.
After that, every haircut was a huge exercise - not at the parlour, but at home. Dad firmly believed that short hair was a strict no-no for tam-brahm maamiyars who had strict 'No entry' boards for baaf- cut marumagals. So I had to sneak in everytime I entered home after the baaf cut. But the smart man that my dad is, he would get to know about the great sin I had committed and hence would stop talking to me for sometime... well... days! All for a simple baaf cut. Surprisingly Amma was quite ok with baaf cuts. She was happy that her daughter(s) did what she couldn't.
During my initial days in Mumbai, I used to walk in to anything that had a 'Parlour' signboard outside. Wasn't too worried about Step cut, stair cut etc. Was more interested in cutting the extra strands of hair that'd come till the neck and irritate the hell out of me especially in summers.
Post 2000- there was a new 'hair' revolution in Mumbai thanks to Dilshad, Adhuna, Nalini Yasmin etc. They are the so-called hair stylists who did the same job as my good Royal Salooon. But the difference with these was....
Glossary:
