Saturday, July 21, 2007

KIREEDAM: ORU KIZHISAL

I am sorry.. I am sorry.. S-O-R-R-Y.. naa konjam nallavadaan... sorry.. Anjaneya, Villian, Varalaru and now Kireedom.. My dear husband, am sorry I subjected to you to so much torture.. I promise.. I hereby promise that never will I subject you this kinda torture henceforth.. “athaaan.. ennai mannithuvidungal.. mannithuvittean endru oru vaarthai sollungal..”

Prelude - Flashback – several several years ago….

Vijay, director of this film – A high school student in 1987, from Omanakutty village in Kollam district, Kerala watches ‘Enda katthal kireedam unnoda ammayeendaa paramanantham’ – a Malayalam film by Priyadarsan a.k.a Priyan in a theatre near his school and comes out jubiliantly to say “Ende Guruvaayurappaaa.. idanneee.. idannee Bharatha deshatode… Malayalathunda firsht class picture.. Priyan valliya director-aaanu” and decides that his aim in life is to remake the film in Tamizh… only to torture the tamizh audience for reasons best known to him…

A few years later: The same Vijay with a vengeance joins Priyan as an assistant director and is seen worshipping his idol- icon Priyan Sir talking about the film “Enda kaathal….”. After assisting Priyan on the umpteenth remake version of “Enda katthal..” Priyan decides its time Vijay goes out and makes his own film..

Vijay, now an aspiring director is seen with Priyan who recommends his name to good friend Suresh Balaje a.k.a Illicha Vaai producer.. Priyan and Suresh samsaarichify in chaste Mallu –ofcourse Suresh in Tam Iyengarish Mallu and thus agreements signed, advances given to Vijay and crew for the biggest torture of all time : KIREEDAM.

Kireedam

You know you are in for a complete disaster the moment you see the second scene with ‘Thala’ Ajith in Constable costume, rain fight scene – saluting his father Rajkiran a.k.a ‘Artificial Arched Eyebrows Yaettu Appa’. Yabbaaa.. you say!Mr.Arched eyebrows realizes its all a dream and tells the 501 constable colleague that his aim is to make Thala, a Tarudalai.. er.. S.I.

HAPPY HOUSEHOLD

Cut to happy household in Tirichi house – Castol oil face Sharanya as Thala’s mummy & Arched Eyebrows’ wife… One number serial-la junior artiste as thangai... Nimmadi serial senior artiste as Akka, one vettu vettu student thambi (last seen in Nandha as child actor) and ofcourse Vivek, as veetoda mappillai.. All haahaaa-heeehee-ing we are one happy family Karan jogar kinds. ‘Thala’ ofcourse is the darling of the family…(Mugavari kinds) seen Pillayar idol robbing from Trisha’s house.

TIRISHA – THE TALAIYATTI BOMMAI

Trisha’s entry scene, predictably starts from her kolusu cutting to her ears, eyes, nose, runny nose.. whatever.. finally, we see Tirisaa madam doing a boring modhal before kadhal nonsense with Thala.. Thala has one number Tarudalai as his friend – “Lollu sabha” Santhanam who is trying to be the next Vivek- failing miserably.

Cut back to Happy household- all happy, Thala getting letter to appear for kaaval turai eggjam (‘Dill’ film kinds).. Cut Cut one number inspiring song…Arched eyebrows and Thala working out in sand, drinking mineral water, laughing, exercising, push upping..… Arched eyebrows full efforts in putting success for Thala - yabbaa.. enough.. enakke taangala..

Side-la Tala’s encounter with Tirishaa continues.. and lauvvs happens in Tirichy kaapee shaap… with a wooden face-wooden voice Ajith proposing “namakku first payyan-aprom ponnu kozhandai” kinda innovative dialaaks.. (Na.Muthukumar/Vijay – both torture us, not one). One number duet happens.. the less said the better about the picturization.. it is terrible!

Eyesore: Not to miss Tirisha’s broken nail polish when there is close up of her hands on Ajith’s shoulders – lauvvss u see.

Continuity: The same scene… Tirisha writing exam.. nail paaleesh missing.. so madam removing nail paaleesh before going to eggjam hall? Me yosching..

After all the kaadhals and lauvvs, both family meetings and Tirsha and Ajith’s parisam is finalized.. only after ha ha ha.. kinda Doordarshan Podhigai Tuesday drama laughters by both families.

TRAGEDY TRANSFER

But tragedy, Mr. Arched Eyebrows is now transferred to some tanni illadha kaadu , away from Tirichi for slapping an MLA’s son. Thala and family go with him..not before Thalai’s 10 second scene “Naa enga poren.. paakathu oorukku daane” with Tirisha.

Thanni illada kaadu has lots of tanni potta rowdies… and one number Head Inspector who is beaten up because he is haanest raaj. But Arched Eyebrows is also Haanest raaj you see… so we see him talking to Head Inspector Haanest. So both talking haanest, talks of local rowdies.. local daadaas, tata sumos, aruvals and other never-before-seen-stuff-in-Tamizh cinema.

TOONGITEAN.. BUT I DIDN’T MISS MUCH

Somewhere here I dozed off, only to be woken up by Tottu taali kattina purushan who asks me to wake up, be alert and watch the film so that I can do social service by writing such reviews and warning people.. We are the socially-responsible-kudumbamayya!

When I woke up I saw one number Tall mallu looking (obviously!) villain beating up Mr.Arched Eyebrows screaming “DAIIIIIIIIII… “in yes, you got it a crowded market place. Suddenly I saw ‘Thala’ in formal wear beating up Tall villain. I now gather that the villain’s name is Varadu kutty or something like that. Varadu kutty heads a big gang including Bala Singh – who these days comes for exactly 1.5 minutes in a 2 ½ hour film screaming “Dai… pudingadaa avana.. theethu kaatungadaaa” .Now ‘Thala’ beats up ‘Varadu’ and the market junior artistes scream “Dada Thala vazhga” types much to the disappointment of Mr.Arched eyebrows who wants his son to be an S.I.. Sad na?

THANK GOD FOR INTERMISSIONS

At this crucial point, they put Interval – ‘Take care of your belongings’, ‘Beware of dogs ‘kinda flash cards on screen.. and I go out to catch the much needed fresh air. All my plans of sneaking out without husband’s knowledge are foiled thanks to my purushan who followed me quietly and brought me back to the theatre as I tried to run out of the theatre complex.. paavi manusha!

‘THALA’ AS TALAI MARAIVU

Thanks to Haanest Raj Inspector, Thala is talai maraivu, ‘Varadu kutty’ in hospital and Bala Singh & gang looking for Thala. At this nail biting suspense thrilling place, Bala Singh and gang are caught and kept in Jail.. ha ha ha.. every one happy.. ‘Varadu’ giving vaaku moolam.. “I will kill Thala” kinds

HAPPY MAMIYAR VEEDU – TIRISHA BACK

We suddenly see the same girl back out here.. the girl who was romancing Thala in the initial scenes.. You realize, it is the heroine indeed.. Tirisha madam.. at Thala’s tanni-illada-kaattu veedu.. trying to act like a Mattuponnu before kannalam impressing elders.. choo chweet ya…

Here, one number much needed kaamedy track happens.. Ha ha ha, you laugh despite the slapsticky kaamedy.. what to do? Everyone laughs.. you laugh.

Tirisha back to Tirichi with Wooden face Appa and Pappadam face Amma.. Thala sad.

BALA SINGH IS .... BACK .. (Yeah Baby)

Bala Singh still has 10 more seconds to go in the film out of his 1.5 minutes.. So we see him with aruval chasing Thala who puts one fight scene atop buses, bikes etc.. Innovative, yes? But alas, Tirisha’s wooden face Appa sees this encounter and is upset… Wedding cancelled, he tells Mr.Arched Eyebrows.

A emosional Arched eyebrows asks Thala to be talamaraivu again at Lollu Sabha Santhanam’s house, back in Tirichi.. and here yagain thala puts senti after seeing Santhanam talk to his (Santhanam) Amma on the phone.. Thoughts of Pandari Bai Sharanya Amma coming to Tala and he calls home only to realize that ‘5-second-remaining-Bala singh and family have beaten up his amma, thangachee , thambee, broom stick, door mat etc. So sad.. you say!

THALA…

Thala is back with a vengeance.. comes to Tanni illadha kaadu to beat up Varadu kutty and yes he does.. and yes.. yes.. kills Varadu.. bohooooooooo.. cries Mr.Arched Eyebrows.. and Thala does a ‘Nayagan….Bohooooooo”

Now .. next….

.

.

.

.

.

well that’s it.. You have the end title cards rolling and then Thalaiyila kai vecha audiences including adiyeen and adiyeel saying “idu ennoda THALA ezhuttu”

Cast – Main and rear

I am not going to waste precious bandwith trying to post more Mega Bytes talking about Thala and Tirisha. Mr. Arched Eyebrows Rajkiran does a ‘Tavamaai tavamirundu’ father which is repetitive and boring. Bring back the ‘Lungi madiccha-cute guy singing Azhaagana manjapura’ Raj kiran please!I yam missing him.

Vivek: You wonder what this talented man is doing here putting jinggu chaa.. poor guy.. Not to be blamed.. The kaamedy part does not gel with the film.. It is pathetic but one has to admit that his track gives the much needed respite to the entire torture

ALL OTHER WOODEN FACES

You have the kotthu-p-pattarai kinds playing Dada’s adiyaals.. ‘Patti mandram’ Raja’s Siamese twin Manobala and M S Bhaskar doing constables, head constable, tail constable kinda roles.. Sathyan doing supposedly-comic friend character and a million other familiar faces doing a zillion unfamiliar roles.

ALL OTHER MALLU FACES

Dear Mallu directors (Fazil, Lokida das, Menon, Nair and the likes),

We do not have any problems when you guys come to Kollywood remaking your ‘Mallu classics’ in Tamizh. After all this is “Vandaarai vazha vaikkum tamizhagam”. But in the name of ‘Kalai’, if you people use Kerala vilakku, mundu set poatta tamizh paati, mallu daadi veccha villain etc.in tamizh films, we definitely have a problem.. because we don’t identify with such characters, and eventually you suffer because we do not want to look at such characters and watch such films. Similarly, when your artistes like VMC Haneefa, ‘Varadu kutty’ Villian, Haanest raj Inspector, Mallu face paati etc appear in tamizh films, please ensure that they get their Tamizh pronounciations right.. We can accept if a Shriya Saran or a Namitha say 1-2-3-4-5 mouthing their dialogues with their voices dubbed later, because nobody really cares to hear their dialogues.. People don’t really come to the theatres to see them act. But if your Mallu character actors are going to say 1-2-3-4-5 and their voices dubbed later with “Daiiiiii.. naa unna konnuduven..” kinda dialogues.. Sorry , highly unacceptable.

TEGNICAL AASPECTS

Cinematography : Tirru-the cinematographer disappoints big time. Is it the same Tirru who gave us Hey Ram? Sorry Sir, your work is pathetic.

Moojik : G V Prakash : Two out of your 5 odd songs are hummable.. But you have obviously been inspired by your Maama’s ‘Dil Se’ background track. Semma similarity .

Art , editing, Costumes, make-up etc etc : Okey-Okey.. but what use? Padam dubakoor

PRODUCER:

Mr. Remake mannan K.Balaje Saar : Please go back to remaking Hindi films like Don as Billa etc. Mallu films are not for Tamizh audiences… not films as Kireedam, please. Sorry, your come back after a 15 year break has been disappointing.

LAST BUT ONE WORD:

When Tirisha madam says “ Ennala taangamudila” to Ajith, I heard see one till-then-silent- talaiyila kai-vecha purushan next to me say “Ennalayumdaan” .. Well that says it all, about Kireedam!

PERSNAL WORD:

Dear Blogger friend, On your high figh recommendation, I booked the ticket in advance spending money on auto, dragged Saturday-12 mani-veraikkum-toongara- purushan to theatre for mid morning show , subjected him to a two and a half hour torture, spending money on popcorn, juice, parking, petrol etc. Don’t worry, we wont sue you. But as promised.. WIRE THE MONEY I SAY!!!


KIREEDAM – 500 ROOBA DHANDAM!!

22 Responses:

Anonymous said...

Seems to be a familiar tamil movie kinds....

Nothing much in it.....



Regds,
Ara Nijar potta payan

anni said...

kaltoon tilakji......
pudu blog arampichittenga;la chinna ammani......
super blogeswari....

Gundoooo said...

agree wholeheartedly with the comments- last movie i saw was Sivaji - what a high for tamil cinema and now this - a new low for tamil cinema

Anonymous said...

seri thakal! Thnx 4 the warning...was actually thinking of watching it! :)

- ur musical friend who has relocated 2 Chennai recently! ;)

The Practical Idealist said...

I'm not surprised to see that the review for this movie is rather caustic; I believe any movie in which people like Ajith act should receive only such reviews. That's fair.

What's not fair is a movie like Sivaji gets an all-clear when it isn't any more innovative than this. In fact, Rajini's panch dialaaks are all too predictable. His self-aggrandisement has been bugging the hell out of me for nearly ten years now.

Bring back the Rajini of 16 vayadhinile, Thillu Mullu, Guru Sishyan any day! The Baatsha and Sivaji avatars can please retire when the actor behind them is still respected by the fans, the graphically enhanced skin colour and tone notwithstanding!

ambi said...

//Castol oil face Sharanya //

rotfl :)))))

i also felt like her face is always like washed with velakennai. :p

no more tamizh films.

Usha said...

padam dubba nnanalum review attahasama irundadu. Thoroughly enjoyed it.

Aiyo oru padam pakka rendu per pona 500 ruva selva? aiyoooooo.

saaga ki nare said...

blogeswari akka soukiyamaa...evlo naal, maasam, varusham ninaichu, ippo than comment vidaren. blog kalakkals...akka vazhi pugazh pera vazhthukkal...mail pannungo.

saagar ki nare:-) (niyabagam irukka!!)

sagar ki nare said...

aiyo sagar kku badhil saaga nnu adichutten!!

Sabu Mangalasserril said...

would like to know how u rate sivaji... and the films of that grade!!!!

Sadish said...

இந்த மாதிரி ரசிக்கத் தக்க ஒரு விமர்சனம் கிடைக்க, இந்த மாதிரி படங்கள் வருவது கூட வரவேற்கத் தக்கது தான் !

Anonymous said...

ALL OTHER MALLU FACES

Dear Mallu directors (Fazil, Lokida das, Menon, Nair and the likes),

Adding to ur points....Kathai padi padamtrichy la nadakuratha solli tu....oru scne kooda trichy la edukama....kerala back watre a kamichu, aathuvum oru bus varumae padathula.....destination boards la oru side "palakarai" other side "ariyalur"......hioo hiooo...trichy karanga pathu tu vilunthu vilunthu siripanga....

Itha media ellam realistic fim nu vera solranga.....

Munimma said...

padam nalla irukko illiyo, review nalla keethu. athukkaagave, ungaludiya intha kodumaigal thodara en vazhthukkal ;-

Anonymous said...

It may be a bad movie. But it is the first attempt of a director. Every movie involves lots of hardwork and effort. Instead of degarding all the efforts in such a way, if you can put the review in a better way not to demotivate new talents- then we can say that you are doing something good for Tamilfilms.
If your aim is just to entertain people with your writing skills, then there are better stuffs to write about.

BNB said...

Yakow, soober. Aana andha nail polish visayam engayo nerududhu - meow, meow ;-)

Muthu said...

funniiiiest of reviews...

well, guess u failed to notice few grey hairs popping up in ajith's beard in the close-up shots

Anonymous said...

You are not Blogeswari. You are pulugeswari (Lier). Sivaji the worst ever cinema. Kireedom is the best so far for the year 2007. Ajith rocks, Rajini flops

Arunkumar said...

one consolation.. thala hype ellam illama konjam practical-a nadichirkaaru !!

ROTFL post.. sema review.. kalakkitinga blogeswari :)

Anonymous said...

sivaji the sappai pulugeswari. Poi sivaji thathakooda poi padu.

Anonymous said...

you said you took your hubby in auto and how come parking charge. By anychance are have auto :o

ajithkumar said...

Collection of Ultimate Star Ajith Billa2007 Songs , Videos, Gallery, Wallpapers, Latest movies, only at www.ajiththeactor.com.

said...

A片,A片,成人網站,成人漫畫,色情,情色網,情色,AV,AV女優,成人影城,成人,色情A片,日本AV,免費成人影片,成人影片,SEX,免費A片,A片下載,免費A片下載,做愛,情色A片,色情影片,H漫,A漫,18成人

a片,色情影片,情色電影,a片,色情,情色網,情色,av,av女優,成人影城,成人,色情a片,日本av,免費成人影片,成人影片,情色a片,sex,免費a片,a片下載,免費a片下載

情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣,情趣,情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣,情趣,情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣,情趣

A片,A片,A片下載,做愛,成人電影,.18成人,日本A片,情色小說,情色電影,成人影城,自拍,情色論壇,成人論壇,情色貼圖,情色,免費A片,成人,成人網站,成人圖片,AV女優,成人光碟,色情,色情影片,免費A片下載,SEX,AV,色情網站,本土自拍,性愛,成人影片,情色文學,成人文章,成人圖片區,成人貼圖

交友,AIO交友愛情館,AIO,成人交友,愛情公寓,做愛影片,做愛,性愛,微風成人區,微風成人,嘟嘟成人網,成人影片,成人,成人貼圖,18成人,成人圖片區,成人圖片,成人影城,成人小說,成人文章,成人網站,成人論壇,情色貼圖,色情貼圖,色情A片,A片,色情小說,情色小說,情色文學,寄情築園小遊戲, 情色A片,色情影片,AV女優,AV,A漫,免費A片,A片下載