I should have known...when, for an 8:30 pm show my purushan left at 7:45 to buy tickets and came back with a jubilant smile + 2 tickets (Rs.120 each - boohooo!) from a neighbourhood multiplex... I should have known that we were going to suffer three hours of a torture called RNABCDEFGH whatever!
One sodabutti called Surinder-ji (paavi Saaruk kaaan) works with Punjab Power and gets married to a much younger Taani-ji (Anushka Sharma) when Taani's groom dies in an accident on the day of their shaadi. Taani-ji is all upset with the marriage and azhuvaachi 'coz saccha pyaar ek baar hota hai aur friendship aur kuch kuch bhi aur mohabbat bhi ek baar ki pyaar mein khojata hai kinda Yash Chopra - Karan Johar-ish nonsense..
Surinder-ji wants to win Taani-ji's love and takes the avtar of Raj (Padupaavi Saaruk AYYAYYO!) with a tight t-shirt, cool chain (Double Ayyayo!) - yes yes the same Kuch kuch vaanti hota hai look. Raj joins the dance school where Taani-ji has enrolled herself to do some Shiamak Davar exercises. Taani-ji falls in love with Raj and Surinder-ji is upset. Confused? So are we... so is Aditya Chopra... his father... his vetti brother and many others! Welcome to RNBDJ affectionately called as Rab Ne Bana di Jodi.
Surinder-ji becomes Raj-ji and Taani-ji cannot recognize him...This is creativity at its best. Taanji is one homely Punjabi kudi at home making chappathi but becomes pant shirt ponnattha in her dance class, oor suthifies with Raj, sings dances and all that. Which Indian homely ladki does all this ya? say me... Abacharamji!
Suddenly with the help of Vinay Pathak-ji 's hair salon Surinder-ji becomes Raj-ji in exactly five minutes and comes back to the salon to have drinks and talk about Saccha Pyaarji Mohabbat ko jootaa aur Rabji ne friendship ki jodiji...
Let us go and have Sojji Bajji at this point - Interval.
At eggjactly half time I plead and beg of my 'ji' so that we can leave the theatreji and go home. "We have only seen the film for Rs.60-ji... let's complete the rest Rs.60-ji...recessionji... don't waste moneyji" said aathukaarar-ji with a wicked smileji.
Rest of the jis
Anushka Sharma as Taani-ji is pretty, nice smile and all that - good saas bahu material - Ekta-ji, she is all yours!
Vinay Pathak-ji - one number boring typecast as a typical Punjabi the munda. Mundam, to be precise!
Songs , dance and other nonsensejis
Rab we Met
Rab Ne Bana di Bore -.5 (that's a minus point five) out of 5. Don't go anywhere close to the theatre. Sheer torture it is!