Kollywood Kisnan - 7

Dance Master Raghuram celebrated his 50th year in the film industry as a dancer/ choreographer, last year. He had assisted dance master A.K.Chopra in his initial years before moving on to become an independent dance choreographer for films.

 He had acted as Balram Naidu's assistant in Dasavatharam and also appeared in one of the shooting scenes in Avvai Shanmugi .A lot of film choreographers start as background dancers, become assistant choreographers and then become full-fledged dance directors. In the music videos of the 90s and 2000s you'll still be able to spot popular dance masters of Kollywood, Shridhar, Johny, Dinesh, Noble etc.

Here's an old song featuring the Late E.V.Saroja with Raghuram master as a teenager. He comes in the beginning and also at 2.00 

Here's Raghuram master as Lord Murugar in the famous 'Muthai-Tharu Pathi Thiru Nagai' from Arunagirinathar

Raghuram Master passed away last month after a brief illness. May his soul rest in peace.

Thalaivaa

Every wannabe male actor enters Kollywood with big dreams of becoming a Rajni, Kamal or Sivaji. A decade into the industry and after having worked in the usual romance-action type films there comes this 'teeradha daagam' of doing a Nayagan , Devar Magan, Mudhal Mariyadhai type film.

'Ilayathalapathy' Dr.Joseph Vijay Chandrasekhar is no exception. 20 years in the industry and a variety of action kalanda sentiment kalanda romance mixed movies, our man also wanted to a 'different' film. Enter director A.L.Vijay with his intelligensia of the intellectual look. After having copied from films like Titanic, Lagaan (deeiiiii) and I'm Sam but still insisting they are original scripts our man decides to join hands with 'Ilayathalapathy' in this 'different' venture.

So these two meet, discuss storyline etc. Aal izzz well . But you know there is thing that they need to add to the script. It is the thing called 'Massssssss' at times called as 'Marana masssssss' . We've seen it on hoardings by fans, fb posts, tweets particularly during rockzzz vs Dr.Joseph fights. Nobody exactly knows what it is but all the directors and actors know is that , be it an 'Elipathayam' type film or an Avatar or even our own Veerapandiya Kattabomman type film, if Dr.Joseph Vijay or rockzzz decide to make a film of any kind, it should be 'Masssssss' or 'Marana Massssssss'.

So here we are. Making a GodfatherdevarmagaNayaganSarkarBaasha-ish Marana Masssss film titled Thalaivaa -film by Vijay with Vijay for Vijay-ians! 

Dharavi to Down under 

In the 90s, Sathyaraj becomes the Don of Dharavi in Mumbai after his friend and leader of Tamilians in Mumbai, Nasser gets dejected and decides to escape from Bombay with his son, after some random riots. Sathyaraj gives his son Vishwa (Vijay) to Nasser and tells him to take care of him. 

Cut to 2013- Both sons - 'Bro' Santhanam & 'Bro' Vijay are now in Australia running a mineral water bottle company. 'Bro' Vijay meets Amala Paul , love happens and they come to Bombay to seek the blessings/ approval of father Sathyaraj unaware of his Don-giri. Circumstances make him to take up Don-giri ... How he became a 'Don' from being a 'dude' is what is narrated in 3 hours 2 mins. With 'Nurai eeral panju pondra....' + Mukesh dying a dozen times on screen it ends up being a 3 1/2 hour film.

The Vettis of Ozzz

The first half set in Australia is quite a breeze . Santhanam's brand of mokkai kaamedy adds to the fun. Surprise surprise there's no 'Amala Paul, Aavin Paul' joke in the film. The Sam Anderson scene is easily the best one in the film. (Then you can imagine the rest) . Vijay and friends put one super dance for 'Tamizh Pasanga'. This anthem of sorts for Tamizh dudes definitely needed to be a better song.  What to do? Our nephew composer Pragaas thambi is so busy putting angry tweets with 'En Kadamai En Urimai'  that he has no time for unimportant things like making music. 

Vijay and Amala Paul's costumes (Deepali Noor) were semma cool and thankfully she was not wearing sleazy Deepika Phadukone type 1/4 sarees . 

Bro to Bhai 

The film start losing steam once the story shifts to Bombay. It's director A.L.Vijay's film and since he is known for his 'original' scripts, you already know the story from what we saw in the trailer. Vishwa 'bro' becomes Vishwa 'bhai' bashes up random people in Bombay, walks out wearing cool black goggles with 2-3 people behind him (minus the 'Baasha' background score . Miss you Deva! ) 

There's also this 'You are God, You are leader, You are our next CM' feel song. What ya Bro? Not all songs can be MGR's 'Neenga nalla irukkonum' and make you CM no? Poes Garden Poongodhai watching this time no? You didn't foresee all this?

At one point of the film both hero and villain were after some video tape. Apparently I was yawning so much I had missed that "key" video tape scene in which an amateur cameraman films something being plotted against some people or some such thing. No no not in Mudhalvan bro. This scene is in Thalaivaa only bro.

As long as he was a dude in down under all was ok. This Bro becoming Bhai became a big bore.

Side 'Bros'

Villain bro - You know our director Vijay Saar. He thinks original. He directs original. For villain bro also, he wanted one unique identity. We've seen 'deeei' villains, 'eeeei' villains, cool villains, kaamedy villains. This villain is very different. He meditates and chants enemies' names always. Very different no? Pppah!

India's Matt Preston a.k.a our own 'Panneer Pushpangal' Suresh 'bro' - He plays V.K.Ramaswamy, Saroja Devi's father in Pudhiya Paravai... sorry, meant Amala Paul's father in Thalaivaa. 

Y.Gee.Mahendra - You hear his voice in the trailers. His entire 'we-are-Superstar-Rajnikant's-relatives' family was present during the audio launch of Thalaivaa. So one obviously assumed 'ore da' important role. But bro, his screen time in the trailer was more than what he had to do in the main feature film.

Bros Manobala, Ponvannan as Janagaraj, Delhi Ganesh in Nayagan... cha cha, again again mistake... meant Thalaivaa. 

Company artistes bros - Our director A.L.Vijay's films are like anda kaalathu Gemini studios / AVM films. Just like the pazhaya kaalathu films,  he ensures the same faces are repeated over and over again in his films. It honestly gets tiring to see the same mix.

The one and only 'Nephew composer' Bro 

GVP with all the 'bandha' instead of spending time demanding Royalty can, I'm sure spend more time creating better songs than these 'Thalaivaa thalaivaa' or 'Sol Sol Sol' ones in the film. The only good song was 'Vaanganna Vanakkanganna' very well choreographed by Dinesh. (Also is it like an unwritten rule these days that the dance master must put a guest appearance in every song?)

Slick and Slack

You remember these old films with constable being called out as "4 nought 4" or police making entry in the climax with their "Hands up!" . The film is full of such clichés'. There is one "crucial" scene where two people say "We are from Crime branch". Instead of  getting ore da shocked you actually say "ivangaLa vecchu kaamedy geemedy panliye" . What's the point when you get the best of technicians and make the film look good but has such para kadi done-to-death scenes?

Vijay-iyawns

Vijay looks semma fit, neat and trim in the Jeans-Tshirt (bhai) costume. He dances really well and as always better than the dancers behind him. His last film Thuppakki, again a marana massss hit was fairly decent. Copy or not , I don't know but it kept the audience engaged and interested in the film especially the non-Vijayians (or is it un-Vijayians?)

This one's made for Vijay's fans but the director should keep in mind that you can make a marana massss masala , with no logic etc. You copy and all, no problem. We have enough English / Spanish / Korean (new fad) movies to be copied from. But if you are going to copy from Mudhalvan , Sarkar, Pudhiya paravai (which completed its 5000th broadcast on ktv last week), every MGR film (where he bashes up villains for 15 minutes after being beaten up for the first 5 minutes ) , I'm sorry bro, the film ends up being a...

Thalaivali - Time to sleep - 2.5/ 5

Chennai Express

This is what the movie's trailer promised.

A flim on Soueeth Indian log - Check

Saarugaan acting as ..Sa..er..rug..kkhan - Check

Tamizh characters who speak bad tamizh - Check

Tamizh characters who speak terrible tamizh - Double Check

Deepika in something called half saree which is less than 1/4 saree - Check * 100 times

Cars, cars and more cars toppling - Check

Bad music - Triple check

For everything unimportant like logic, authenticity, decent sets, dialogues, acting, accent that's questioned in Indhi films, the reply these days I get is "Kya yaar this is a Rohit shitty film.. what did you expect?" Ok then !

Spoilers ahead (idula oru build-up vera)

Ready Steady Ponga da dei!

Saarugaan is 40 year old Rahul (wow, what a name!) living with grandmother and his very-funny-you-see Dadaji with Harry Potter thaatha level beard . Thaatha dies when he's 99 years old when Sachin tendulkar gets out at 99.  Rahul is more interested in going to Goa than going to Rameshwaram to karachify the ashes of dadaji. He poi-pulugifyes to his paatti that's he off to Soueeth ke India and gets on to Chinnai express. He meets Meenamma (Padukone) who is chased by her 'gunda' cousins for escaping from their village because she doesn't want to marry 'Thangha Bhali' her morai-payan or some such thing. Rahul wants to help Meenamma and both arrive at her village. Whether Rahul successfully fell in love with Meenamma and if she managed to escape from getting married to Thangha Bhali is the story.

Dadar station-il oru DDLJ 

This DDLJ film. I have never bothered to see it nor do I intend to watch its 1000th premiere on tv and scream "awwwwwwww.... DDLLJJJJJJ... cho chweet!!!" especially when Lata Mangeshkar & Kumar Saanu sing "Tujheeennn dekhaaan to yeehh" . Saari ba! The scene where Deepika Padukone and thugs are saved by Saarugaan is a DDLJ spoof-aam. Makkal ore da laughing. We were laughing looking at the crowd laughing. Seri kaamedy.

Thamil language ko thenth day manaya

So we thought Mehmood killed Tamil. Dheephika Phadukhone ghoes a steph fhurther and does thenth day, thirteenth day khaariyam and all phlaying an authentic Thamilian speaking lhike this. Was Vicks one of the sponsors of the film? There was a hundred brands in the initial credits so I may have missed it. Dheephika Phadhukhone perpetually spoke like someone had inserted a tudappa kuchi in her nostrils. 

Ennamma Kannu Sowkyama to EKSI

Sathyaraj is the dreaded Don a.k.a 'Pheriyah Thalai' in this film. In the first scene as he appears you say "Wow, nammaaLu kalakka-p-poraaru" . He says "Ennamma kannu sowkyama?" You clap and whistle and all. But then when scene after scene he walks & says "Ennamma kannu sowkyama" you feel so sorry for him having been reduced to one dummy piece. In Thillu Mullu Thengai Srinivasan's words our manasatchi asks us "Idhula enna perumai?" every time you think of "our" Sathyaraj in a mainstream Indhi cinema. EKSI!

V&S for VRS

This was one of the most boring soundtracks in recent Indhi padams. Song after song sounded exactly what these guys have been producing for 15 years now. No wonder there was an additional song added for the much-needed buzz to the music of the film. Time for VRS , V&S.  

Toy Train 

Dheepikha Phadhukone's village 'Komban' (and like most of us wonder if it's an elephant or a village) makes Doordarshan Tuesday drama set backdrops with the same flower vase and azhukku curtain look like epics . There are some characters who come as cousins, friends, villagers of Komban who make you want to give an Oscar award to Sam Anderson's makeup and costumes. I actually wanted to check if the movie was called 'Chennai Express' or Toy Train. 

Bogut Bogut Funny hai

When there is no umpteenth DDLJ spoof or SRK's self-reference for the millionth time, there's super funny amazingly hilariously comedy of a dialogue "Don't underestimate the power of a common man" for which junta puts a super laugh. Kyun why yean endukku ? Someone tell me yaar!

Eid ka chand aur Idli ka chutney

Also this pyaar for SRK. I see these "Maine aaj SRK dekha. Kal Eid hai" "SRK ko dher saara pyaar" "SRK tu Eid ka chand ... main Idli ka chutney" type messages from ladies log on fb and twitter. So people actually love and like this fellow and his face-a? Mereko samajh nahin Aatha Amma!

End mein kya bolta

Ok it's an Indhi padam and a Saaruk kaan padam. Add Rohit shitty also. So leave brain, liver, logic, kidney & all home firstu. The movie is not an aruvai like 'Ra.Ayyayo One' or 'Jab tak hai Javvu' but that does not make this an epic film. 

The film is a cardboard version of all Tamizh and telugu masala films which include Ghilli, Chandramukhi, Muthu, a dozen MGR films etc. Ya there is some Sivaji Ganesan type acting also by Saarugaan in the end. 

Bockwass express - Tamizh cinema vaazhga ! 2.5/5

(Now if someone could please tell me why these Naarth Indians were laughing so much in the theatre. Total entertainment happened looking at them loffing lyk anything)

Singam II (not Singham II you Amits)

These days it is getting increasingly difficult to sit for 2 + hours in a movie hall. The '+' in this can be anything between 1/2 hour to 2 hours. A 9.30 am movie at PVR starts only at 10.10 am after we've mourned Mukesh's death a million times for ghutka-paan-sori-padai etc, saluted Indians in 'Being Dabanng' shirt to tracks to coat-suit standing for the National Anthem, watched the 'Mumps vanda Hippopotamus' Sanjay Dutt in Policegiri trailer a dozen times before the movie starts, during the interval etc. By the time you are out of the theatre after watching an average Tamizh / Indhi padam, it's almost 12.30 pm. 

So making one sit glued to his/her seat during the entire 160 minutes of the film is indeed a difficult task. In the last couple of years, I wanted to walk out of so so so many films like Ek Tha Tiger, 7-am arivu, Nondasamy, Goa, Damnchakkar, almost-every-other-Steel-Iron-Super-PittaLai-man Hollywood film and so on. Movies to me is all about entertainment. The hero-heroine-villain-comedian can dance, sing, cry, act do whatever but ultimately they should entertain me in some way or the other. 

That way Singam-2 is entertainment, entertainment, entertainment. In many serious scenes, when Dorai Singam (Suriya) is busy giving dialaak about Indian Police or the importance of National flag or about Indian Police or about ... er.. Indian Police I found myself laughing aloud thinking about the great director Hari Saar has put in his heart, soul and Mercedes and Scorpios conceiving this with all sincerity. This review or note or (in bloggers' jargon) thoughts/ ramblings on Singam II is my salute to the one and only director Hari Saar. Give him the Bharat ratna now!

If you are one of those torrent vaasis who watches movies on eeteeb and hard disk types, kindly skip reading this. You'll never be able to understand and appreciate the vision of Hari Saar watching this epic on Sinnathirai

Story ley!

The movie starts with a gist of what happened in Singam 1 as a preview to all unfortunate souls who missed it. Dorai Singam (Suriya) is on a mission to nab the baddies as an undercover cop. He is now an NCC teacher in a school and is moppam pidichifying the villains. He realizes the local industrialists are smuggling drugs , follows them in Tuticorin, Kerala, Chennai and finally comes face to face with the kingpin Danny at South Africa. In between all this, are duets with Anoushka, one side laauv with Hansika, kaamedy with Santhanam and Viveik, Amma-Appa sentiment, Blackberry, video calls, ipad password, false eyelashes and some hi-tech stuff contributing this world-class entertainer. Whether Dorai Singam nabbed Danny and told him who the king of Indian ocean was, did his romance with Anoushka work out, have we been made to realize the power of Indian police is what the suspense of the story is. 

Where there is no 'vay' ....

...use a "ley". Since the film has a Tuticorin backdrop we have a lot of veys and leys. All the leys and veys apart from travelling in boats saying eeey, veeey , leey also do an item dance with Anjali and her my-chitthi-is-forcing-me-to-dance velakkennai kudichcha look wearing left-overs from Khushbu-designed-dress in Kalakalappu. Kadavu'ley'!

Truly International vey!

Dorai Singam polandu kattufyes not just in Thoothukudi Tamizh but also in Indhi and English. When he utters the pullarikkira "D for Dil, D for Dushman, D for Dosti, D for Dorai Singam...." you want to clap non-stop and put a D for Dhanyavaad for Hari Saar for making Kollywood world-classer than what it is.

Director Hari Saar has made the villains speak Malayalam, Sinhalese and there is also Babylese which is villain Mukesh Rishi's va-va-va-va ba-ba-ba le-le-le and dupping coming to his rescue. Raguman looks confused and speaks one nember confused Tamizh. Chetta nee border cross cheydu Kerala migrate cheyyu, angane chaaya, Banana chips kazhichu. Kettiyo?

Music ley!

There is one dialogue in Singam 2 where Viveik makes one lengthy explanation of DSP standing for Devi Sri Prasad reminding us that the music director of the film is Sri Sri Sri Devi Sri Prasad. If there's one guy who should retire and resign immediately after this film, it is DSP! His songs sound like leftovers of Singam 1 and several other Golt movies. What's worse he ends up singing some of the tracks which obviously have been recorded in the bathroom . Constipated he sounds. "Sing and dance.. Singam dance" - Elay DSP! VRS vaangu ley!

Kaamedy vey!

What Peter, Muthu was to Nambiar in old films, Soosai is to Tamizh films these days. Every film has a kadarkarai background, fishermen sandhai, church backdrop, Parama pidha, Thiruchchabai reference scenes and there is a Soosai . I was infact looking for an Esakki as well. May be the character got chopped at the edit table. Santhanam plays Soosai in the film doing his own bit here and there adding to the madness. In between almost nail-biting serious scenes where Suriya is putting heroic dialaaks on what-else-but "INDIAN POLICE!!!!! " there is one sudden Santhanam kaamedy. That is the biggest Kaamedy of all ley!

Apparetion D ley!

Dorai Singam is on an ultimate mission to nab the baddies and comes up with Mission D where he is given the authority to shoot people and do whatever he wants to achieve his mission. This is one extra secretive mission which only Hari Saar's real life Mamanar & former Ettu-p-patti raasa Naattamai Vijaykumar and Dorai Singam are aware of. In one of the several climax scenes of the film, villain Raghuman tells Dorai "I'm aware of Mission D.. D for Doraisingam". Adukku Suriya says "D for Danny not Dorai singam" My gawwwddd! This this this this is one more fantastic-pullarikara moment of the film when you want to clap and put D for Dappanguthu for Hari Saar. 

Actors Gumbal ley!

I hope Hari Saar does NOT send this film for the National film awards. He should instead eye for the Aascars, Nobel Prize, Magsaysay and other International awards. To offset the presence of a bad Bhai, there is also a good (Kareem) bhai played by the one and only Mansoor (piles vyadiyo?) Ali Khan . To reiterate and remind the dumb audience that is us, that he is a "good" bhai, we have his wife in Burkha (note it you idiots!) at the hospital scene. I recommend Mansoor Ali Khan for Magsaysay award for putting up with piles vyaadhi and nadichu tuppufying. Long time no see Mansoor Bhai. Hope we see you more often from now on.

The Nobel Peace prize has to be given to Vijaykumar Saar. C'mon so much he has put up with right from Singam 1 to 2 for his daughter's (Director Hari Saar's wife) life! What's with actors like Radha Ravi and Kitty always looking constipated throughout the film .. I meant in  the 11 seconds they appear (5.5 seconds each) ? I strongly suspect there has been some food poisoning in the unit food during the shooting of Singam II. There is also Nasser, Manorama, Viveik, 'Shadows' Ravi, Sumithra, Yuvarani and one huge gumbal. 

There is also what-the-hell-am-I-doing-here Anoushka Shetty and here-I-am-looking-cute-and-bubbly-in-my-umpteenth-film Hansika Motwani as well. Looks like ivangalukkelam saappadu potte Producer would've spent half the budget of this film.

Indhi-vey

Dear Ajay Devgn, you can put dialaak, romance heroiney, dance, sing, jump, hit villains like Suriya but can any of your Indhi TV channels do a "Konjam Nadinga Boss" with any of your Singham 2 dialaaks should you decide to remake this too? The answer is NO! While watching the film, felt super thrilled at the very thought of namma makkal putting Singam 2 dialaaks in this world famous program on Adithya TV. Incase you are not aware of this awesomeness, here is a sample. 

Last wordsu ley

Meanwhile, while our dear #Thalarockzzz fans (still figuring out titles of 53, 55, 59.5 films) and #ThalapathyRockzzz fans (wondering how to remove their "Sura"tic tag) are trying to post pirated  links of Anoushka in Singam 2 with Kungumam on her Vagidu discussing whether she was married to Dorai Singam in the movie or not , and how Director Hari Saar has made this major continuity error of the blunder of the millennium and how Singam 2 is a blot to Kollywood's clean slate of epic movies like Billa 2 and Sura, guess who is loffing all the way to the bank making Kodis and breaking box-office records on Day 1?

"Sing and dance.. SINGAM dance!"  - bwahahahaha! 

Here's my rating of ... 4 stars... on Suriya's uniform . This man truly deserves a standing ovation, Padma Bhushan, Vibhushan, Param Vir chakra , Kalaimamani, Mylapore Academy, Adambakkam Fine arts and the other awards. 

Let's make him a 10 stars potta Chief Police Officer Dorai Singam - Ezhundu adicha ezhara tonne weighttu - Bring it on, Singam 3!

Quinoa Padutthum Paadu - Recipe # 3

Thank you twitter makkale for your overwhelming response and interest to participate in this contest. But you see, this season 1 is open only for the Master Chefs of Madras . When I have season 2 inviting Tabulouehehehe type recipes, I shall surely keep all of you in mind.

For those wondering what this is all about, it is  Quinoa popularly called Koina based contest announced last week. Read post here. Read ? Now go to @prabhuferrari's first recipe that was posted here . Then came @mdeii and his exotic recipe here .

Our third and final contestant - @lordlabak

 

Lordlabak is a nadamaadum Bollywood dictionary. From knowing the bio-data of every kuppai actor (Imran Kaan ;-) ) to analyzing Karan Jogar's shows, lordlabak has Bollywood in her viral nuni. From being an ardent fan of Chitti serial , Neengal ketta padal type sun tv shows, I suspect this transformation to being Bollywood lover has something to do with cooking Koina and the poshness. Lordlabak aims to have 10000 plus followers on twitter which I told her will be possible only if she starts writing columns about Cilantro chutneys, Cathay pacific seat belts and Cows' names in DNA, Minnttu Lounge papers. Lordlabak blogs here .

 

Over to her recipe

 

@lordlabak's Quinoa Pongal or Quinoa Khichdi for Amits

 

Ingredients

• 1 cup quinoa soaked for 2-3 hours in water
• 1/2 cup moong dal
• Mix the above with salt and turmeric powder and pressure cook until you hear 4-5 whistles.
• If you see sprouts or strings coming out of quinoa you know it's cooked well.
•  Add cashew and cumin seeds in ghee and sauté until cashews turn light brown. Add it to the cooked quinoa Pongal to give it a little flavor.

Disclaimer
 Super healthy hence may not taste well. If you don't like it, reuse it as glue for household projects. But make sure you evaporate excess water and make it pasty.

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When @lordlabak sent me this recipe, she mentioned her family was semmaya toongifying after eating her Quinoa Pongal. I did have a word with her husband later who said it was not tookkam but mayakkam. Poor guy had to almost ezhudivechify his car & veedu to the doctor for the treatment , he added. Thanks to Kadavul krubai they are all ok now. Quinoa is now added into the list of ketta varrthai that is now allowed in the house it seems. Praise the Lord!

 

So makkale, you have read Thalaivar @prabhuferrari, Annan @mdeii & Akka @lordlabak 's Koina recipes. Voh My gaad! Now I cannot wait to reveal the name of the Mega Master Chef of Madras who will jedge the three entries and announce prize of minjipoana Quinoa packet and a book of their choice, to the winner. Stay tuned, people.

 

Quinoa Padutthum Paadu - Recipe # 2

One Koina based contest was announced in this post last week.You must've read about a lot of kadai adaippi, tadi-adi, kaikalappu last week.Those were the other Master Chefs of Madras who were denied an opportunity to participate in this Koina contest, protesting the aniyayam and akramam.

In fact, before the first recipe went up on the blog, we had to give A to Z category security to contestant # 1 @prabhuferrari after rumours of fellow Master Chefs of Madras planning an attack into his kitchen to steal the exotic Koina recipe which he shared on the blog. Read the first recipe here .

Our second contestant - Master Chef    @mdeii

@mdeii a.k.a Thennagathu Daisy Irani runs a mobile Dabba chetty kadai where he carries a big dabba with headphones, mike and all. You can see him in the lanes of Mylapore, bylanes of Mint street selling soodana kaapi , tea . He still doesn't have an answer when I asked him on why he carries mike and all to aathify kaapi. @mdeii can cook Puliyorai,  Moar FTW,Paanagam-elaneer, Ellu saadam, Anjaneyar Kovil vadai, Ramar kovil Chakkara pongal apart from cooking all oorvana , nadappana etc.. Sorry. @mdeii blogged here once upon a time .

Over to his "exotic" recipe.

@mdeii's Quinoa Aglio olio

Simple modification of the pasta aglio olio.

Cook quinoa according to package instructions. My packet has quino bulgur meal, so it is starchier. This is useful because the cooking water needs to be retained for garlic sauce.After cooking the quinoa, drain and retain the water.

Sauce:

1. Heat olive oil in a pan (dont use extra virgin).

2. Then add thinly chopped pieces of garlic to the oil.

3. While is lightly browns, add chilli flakes (not power) and quickly turn down the heat as olive oil can burn.

4. Add starchy water from quinoa cooking and reduce to sauce consistency.

5. Turn off stove. Add salt to taste. 

Method

7. To this garlic sauce, add the cooked quinoa.

Voila! Quinoa aglio olio done. Very simple recipe

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I had wanted a picture to go with the recipe. @mdeii shared this adding that after throwing the above in the bin, all he was left was with the packet here.

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Enna neyargale, read the two recipes of @prabhuferrari and @mdeii ? My last Master Chef contestant's post will be up tomorrow.

Our Mega Master Chef of Madras will jedge the 3 entries and declare the winner towards the end of this week. Vaazhga Koina naamam!

Quinoa Padutthum Paadu - Recipe # 1

Before reading this post, you'll have to read the earlier one , compulsory-a. 

In this entire week, we'll have three best of the best of the Master Chefs of Madras sharing their Koina recipes on this blog. Our Mega Master Chef will jedge them and give 1/2 packet Minjipona Koina and one book parisu to the winner.

Presenting our first contestant - Master Chef    @prabhuferrari

Prabhu is the President of Kala mashter fan club of India, Chief Executive Officer of Agila Ulaga Gaptun Narpani mandram and a mega fan of Koina.  Prabhu takes over the karandi-aduppu management only after calling Police, Ambulance etc to put them on standby. He loves to cook Peas pulao and can cook Peas Pulao and .. er.. and ... Peas pulao. Over to Prabhu and his recipe. Prabhu (seldom) blogs here . 

@Prabhuferrari's Quinoa paste

 Quinoa. What an exotic name for a seed. According to trusted sources Quinoa is the favourite of film director Bharathriaja and other earthy directors from TN. In fact Bharathiraja initially wanted to name his movie Quinoa pogum rayil and changed it to kizhakke pogum rayil. In fact if you closely look at the village ladies in Bharathiraja movies you can't make out if they are singing lulululu or quinoa quinoa quinoa.

Now that we have established the relationship between Quinoa and Tamil nation lets look at making something out of Quinoa. I don't know who benefited the maximum out of globalisation, but the cooks are the ones who are outspoken about it. Even punnakku vyabari punyakoti is a mint columnist now on how to make a nutritious punnakku rasam for erumai maadu. With this perpective, I am flabbergasted how come there is no recipe yet on say Quinoa rasam, Quinoa kozhambu, Quinoa kootu etc. As some one popular said be the chilrai err change you want to be, I decided to come up with recipes on my own.

Since Quinoa is a seed I cross checked with fellow chefs, Sevvapettai seenu, aminjikarai Arumugam. They were of the opinion, one can make Quinoa paste and use that as a base. For instance you can make Quinoa red paste to use a base for few items, and Quinoa green paste to use a base for some other.

Quinoa paste

Ingredients
200 gms of quinoa seeds
Red or green chilli 50 gms
Tomato purée in case of red paste
Cut lemon
Omam water
Pattai sarakku cha pattai lavangam
P.S. in addition to normal vessels, a thiruvodu is must for Quinoa paste.

Step 1.

Pour the seeds of Quinoa on a thiruvodu and get on a treadmill. You should keep tossing the seeds of quinoa on air and catch with thiruvoadu. All this while you are working out on a thiruvoadu. Quinoa seeds are oddly shaped and it needs to be brought into a circular shape. That's why this step on a treadmill. And thiruvoadu is the perfect vessel for tossing things on air.

Step 2.

Once you are done bringing the seeds to shape, pour a glass of water on the thiruvoadu containing quinoa. (If you get dhuddu from mineral water companies for promoting their product, take photo of you with that bottle and quinoa thiruvoadu). Leave this for around 30 minutes.

Step 3.

In a small frying pan heat castor oil(Yes velakennai) and later pour the quinoa seeds on it. Then add red or green chilli and saute it for sometime. Once the seeds are deep fried, add tomato puree if needed, green chilli or red chilli paste. Keep stirring till it becomes a thick paste. And then later, add some water, omam water and fresh lemon juice. Keep a lid on and in frequent intervals keep stirring and adding water. Once the consistency is there, you can turn the flame off and let the paste cool down.

Now that the paste is there, what can we do with it? Oops sorry I forgot the most important step. You need to take a photo of the paste, and if possible you with a thiruvoadu. Later instagram it and tweet/facebook it. Quinoa has magical telepathy power and it wont settle down as a paste unless you instagram it.

Ok, now coming back to Quinoa paste usage

1. Recently in Sun TV they have started the epic serial mahabharatham. Pretty soon you will have ratchasans and ratchasis occupying your LED screens. To make a normal person look like a ratchasan, they can apply quinoa paste on their body. And in chennai summer heat anyone applying quinoa paste made of chilli will automatically become a ratchasan and the scenes will be realistic. One stone 2 quinoa. Cha, 2 maanga

2. If you are a car lover like me you will be frustrated when dogs pee on your car tyres or when rats get in the bonnet and bite away the wires. If you apply quinoa paste on your tires and underbody of the car, naai kooda kitta varaadhu (Even a dog won't come near)

3. In olden days they used to spread cow dung and water in front of your house and put rangoli on it. With apartments there is no space for cow dung. Instead you can take a thin cardboard plate and apply quinoa paste (green one) on it evenly. And sell it as Quini(inspired from saani). You never know Gramarajan might be impressed and get sing like this  . And to popularize it in social media you can conduct a quini quiz. Later you can give money to some josiyar to appear on TV and say that if people put Rangoli on Quini there will be no power cut during Vani Rani or Saravanan Meenatchi.

4. In Airtel supersinger you can ask them to do a quini vaaram with contestants wearing Quini dress and shouting songs. You can get Gobinath to do a saaniya quiniya in Neeya Naana.

Like this you can do many things with help of Quinoa paste and also earn money.But please remember even by mistake don't consume quinoa paste. Else 'Quinoa Quinoa vayathukulla vambu pannudhu'

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Okay so that was our first MasterChef contestant @prabhuferrari . Our next two contestants will be posting such "exotic" recipes similarly. If you have read this, you have no other go but to RT, Share on fb, email and parappify the pugazh of Koina. Watch this space for the next two recipes tomorrow and the day after.

Quinoa Padutthum Paadu

Way back in the 80s and 90s, things like Nadhiya Kammal, Geethanjali / Idhayathai thirudade Salwar-Kurta-Bandini duppatta, Roti (useless) maker were a rage. Whether it suited them / useful or not, makkal went and bought it only to bandha adichify.These days makkal have truck loads of money. To make a call, we buy 40000 Rubees worth smart phone because namma pakkathu veetu Ponnamma and Edirtha veetu Ekambaram have ishhmart phones. 

One such pisthu item that has made it to this Bandha list is Quinoa. It is some grain like crop like seed like item that grows in South America and gets imported for heppu makkal to eat it as a substitute to Rice, Roti, Mor kozhambu, Vazhakka Bajji, Paneer Butter masala, Tirupathi Laddu etc.

This Quinoa comes into the conversation on any topic be it Food habits, Diet , Coal scam, Rail scam or Saravanan Meenatchi episode 400. You are considered unhep / unposshhh / pisatthu / vettuvetthu if you don't discuss and haven't had Quinoa. "I ate Quinoa" has become very common like we used to say "I had Anjaneyar Kovil vadai" .

Having bought all of the above (in the first para) from Nadhiya kammal to unsmart phones, we also bought Quinoa. For practical pronunciation purposes, let me call it Koina. It is so difficult to think 'Keenwah' and write Quonia. So it is Koina and will be Koina for me.At this supermarket where we go to buy our salt, sugar and paruppu,  was this lady who insisted we buy one packet of Koina. Since everybody was raving and ya let me admit we also wanted to be heppu , we bought Koina. In the 'we' I'm adding the paavappatta Purusan who didn't taste this bleddy thing when I tried to make it. Only at the billing counter did we realize we had been talailakattufyed this horribly expensive vasthu. Our dal, salt, masala powders combined was some 500 Rubees na this Koina itself was some 500 rubees+ for a packet that would fit into a shirt pocket. 

This Koina packet was lying idle for almost 6 months. Not wanting to waste the hard-earned money spent on Koina, made some salad type thing boiling it, adding onion, tomato and all. Vaaila vekka mudila. I tried to have one half of what I made and left the other in the fridge which was consumed after 2 days, adding the same to Thayir saadam. Kodumai.  Uvveck.

The sad part was only 1/4 of the packet was used in Koina salad. What to do with the rest? As I was trying to think keeping the packet in hand, it slipped and more than 1/2 fell on the ground. " Haiiyaa Jaali ! Ozhindadu Koina!", I told myself. The rest- one tiny bit was left in the packet. So I've come up with this brilliant idea of gifting the minjina packet to the one who sends me a brilliant Koina recipe for a contest on this blog.

But I'm sorry folks, this contest is not open to all silly cooks like you. Only the best of the best of the Master Chefs of Madras will be participating in this contest. And a Mega Master Chef will judge the entries. Going by their twitter / facebook posts and my personal interaction with the Master Chef of Madras, I've already short listed three esteemed Chefs who will be sharing their Koina recipes that will be posted on the blog next week.

The best of the three will win my coveted Minjina packet of Koina and (ponaapogattum) a book of their choice. As mentioned earlier, the winner will be chosen by our Mega Master Chef (surprise!!!!!) along with me. To know who these elitist contestants are, please come back next week. Till then, enjoy a picture of the Minjina packet of Koina.

Kollywood Kisnan - 6

Doctor 's payyan , doctor. A Lawyer's ponnu may , may not become a lawyer.. a vaadhyar's pillai is a makku .. An actor's ponnu / payyan most often becomes an actor or ends up being a director/ producer / cinematographer / costume designer etc. 

In Kollywood we have three generations of actors viz. Sivaji-Prabhu-Vikram Prabhu, Muthuraman-Karthik-Gautham Karthik etc.

This Kapoor family in Bollywood is termed as the first family of Indian cinema. Prithviraj Kapoor, his sons Raj kapoor, Shashi, Shammi kapoor, their sons Randhir, Rishi, 'Bombay dyeing' Kapoor, Chintu, Chikki-mukki Kapoors and the fourth generation Kapoors of Ranbir, Kareena-Karisma Kapoors are all actors / directors/ producers. 

But you know , even before the fourth generation (Karishma) Kapoor made her debut in '91, in namma Kollywood we had a fourth generation actress who made her debut in 1990?

Aishwarya Bhaskar has this privilege of being the fourth generation actor in Kollywood. She made her debut in '90. Her mother is the famous Lakshmi who won the best actress National award for Sila nerangaLil sila manidargal. Lakshmi's mother Rukmini acted in a lot of pazhaya movies including Sri Valli where she played the title role. Watch a clip from the movie here.

Rukmini's mother was Nungambakkam Janaki who was a dancer in Tamil films. Do read the article about her here. If you have a video clip of hers, do share it in the comments space.

As Indian cinema celebrates its 100th year, if any of your Amit friends try and put pult talking about Bachchan / Kapoor / Khan being the first family of Indian cinema etc. you put double pult and show them this post I say! Kollywood Kisnan is proud to say the first family of Indian cinema is from namma Kollywood.

Edited to add on 7th May '13

Sarang tweeted to say the first family of Indian cinema could be from Bollywood. Not Kapoors, Khans.. it's the Kajol family. Kajol's mom Tanuja's mother was popular actress Shobhna Samarth . Shobhna Samarth's mother Rattan Bai made her debut in 1933 has acted in 12 films. Though Kajol's debut was in '92 few years after Aishwarya (Lakshmi's daughter) made her debut, her cousin Mohnish Behl (Shobhna Samarth's daughter Nutan's son) made his debut in 1983 making him the fourth generation actor in Indian cinema.

Thank you Sarang for the tweet and the link. So namma Lakshmi, Aishwarya and family go back to being the first family of Kollywood. Will come back and update this post whenever Aishwarya's daughter makes her debut.

Kollywood Kisnan - 5

People inherit looks,nalla pazhakka vazhakkam from parents. Kisnan has inherited the miga nalla pazhakkam of watching background dancers in dance sequences in Kollywood, from Amma who has this good habit of saying "ayyo paavam these dancers". Several gems have been unearthed watching these background dancers. One such is 'Thennagathu Madonna' , namma C.I.D Sagundala. You can spot her as a background dancer in a lot of song sequences in Black & white Tamizh films. 

Kollywood Kisnan was anyway planning to write a post on the greatness of C.I.D Sagundala as a background dancer when he spotted a lesser known (as a ) background dancer in a very popular song.  Kollywood Kisnan must've seen this song a million times on Oliyum Oliyum ...

...but not once did he associate this lead dancer's face with a famous character actor. May be because Kollywood Kisnan got very emotional whenever he saw Nadigar T saying "Ammbbaaa Manjal Kungumathoda nee neeeedooodi vazhanum..." and overwhelmed with the "kekekekeke" laughter of the dancers, he missed this noticing this.

The lead dancer of this song.. 

is the Late Sukumari who passed away recently. This information is thanks to Markandayen Sivakumar Saar who also mentions she is the first cousin of Travancore sisters Lalitha-Padmini-Ragini.

Sukumar married the director of 'Paasa malar' and other 'Pa' varisai movies, Bhim Singh.

Kollywood Kisnan - 4

Kollywood Kisnan should rechristen himself 'Chaild Aartiste' tracker since he loves to track all the Koyanda natchatrams of Kollywood.

Adu ennavo terila enna maayamo terila all Koyanda natchatrams in Kollywood seem to have made multiple appearances in a million Murugan movies. May be because Lord Murugan is a Koyanda natchatram himself.

In one of the several rerepeats of one Murugan movie on Murasu TV, Kollywood Kisnan spotted Master Sridhar as a Teenage Murugan uttering the same 'Om enum taaraga mandiram...' type dialaak in the same Tuesday DD drama type style.

In the same movie was yet another Koyanda natchatram - one cute looking boy who looked very very familiar. Kisnan put research and found it was Master Raghu. The Ph.d level research showed Master Raghu...

.. is none other than actor Karan who has been making a come back even before his debut in Nammavar. Once a year he puts mega hard work , chooses right script and acts in a movie like Kokki, Karuppasami Kutthagaidaarar, Thee nagar, which bombs at the box office. Paavam. He had a release even last week. It was a movie called Kandha which one got to know after reading a review in a Tamil magazine.

Sometimes you wish such actors had remained Koyanda Natchatrams only. edukku valarndu kashtappad(uth)anum ipdi?

Kollywood Kisnan - 3

You know our Nadigar T Sivaji Saar is the God of nadipps no? We've heard from our Malarum Ninaivugal days on how 7 am shooting means he'd be there at 6.30 am sharp with makeup and costume. Also how he'd never step out of the shooting floor even when he is not part of a particular shot and that he would get out of the floor only during lunch / tea breaks.

Nadigar T is also known to know not just his dialogues by heart, but also others which our Markandeyan Sivakumar Sir also follows.

But this one particular scene caught Kollywood Kisnan's eye. In Kandhan Karunai, based on Lord Muruga, Markandeyan Sivakumar Sir who plays the title role plays a second fiddle to Veera Vaahu played by our own Chevalier Nadigar T. Here, in the scene below Nadigar T lists out the varadatchanai Devayani should bring when she gets married to Murugar. (01:44 onwards). It's obvious he's reading out from the paper in front of him. You can see a similar reading from paper in this song from Bale Pandiya (02:58 onwards) which is full of swaram. In this Kandhan Karunai scene wonder if director APN Anna forgot to send that particular page of the dialaak paper to Annai illam the previous evening 'coz when the sequence continues with Nadigar T talking about Murugar it is all properly magg adichyfed.

Kollywood Kisnan - 2

Actress Siridevi tweeted two days ago about her debut as a child artiste in Kandhan Karunai

Kollywood Kisnan realized the song she tweeted featured the one and only Master Sridhar , one of the super duper chaaild artistes of Kollywood (the other super dupers being Daisy Irani, Master Sekar and Paploo a.k.a Babloo a.k.a Prithviraj). Check out the song Siridevi tweeted.

Kollywood Kisnan put a little research on Siridevi and her films on wiki which does mention Kandhan Karunai. More Ph.d level research followed on Kandhan Karunai whose credits did not have 'Baby Sridevi'

The 'Baby Selvi' mentioned in the credits is this kid in this beautiful song

In all this, Kollywood Kisnan wonders how this Siridevi ('s PR person) tweeted about Kandhan Karunai ? The nation wants to know. Any answers?

Edited to add 

Thank you Boo (check comments section). Boo says

 Is this Sridevi from 'Arupadai veedu konda' song in Kandhan Karunai?