Kadhai kadhaiyam Kutchery-aam

Managed to attend three concerts this week - Ranjani-Gayatri at Parthasarathy Swami Sabha, Sanjay Subrahmanyan at Music Academy and Aruna Sairam at Mylapore Fine arts.

For those asking "Obama-vukkum Omapodi-kkum enna sambandham? You attending carnatic concert-a?" , I learnt Carnatic music for quite sometime and once upon a time - ie 2 1/2 decades ago. Aatha-naina dreamt of us becoming "A...... sisters" singing in popular sabhas wearing jimikki and matching matching saree. We ended up singing "Odakkara marimuthu" on stage for our cousin's kannalam.

I am one number gnana-soonyam when it comes to Raga identification, duritakaalam, 23rd Melakarta, Janya ragam etc etc. For me its the voice and the rendition that matters. Oflate I have realized , its the packaging and presentation that attracts me to the concert/ singer.

GG* was my companion for both Ranjani-Gayatri and Sanjay's concerts. We have similar tastes and her Raga identification skills are a tad better. My raga identification is confined to cinema paatus (namma buddhi vera enga pogum?) . It is konjam sad. Mayamalava Gowlai is the first raagam that anyone learns.. the raagam of Sa-ri-ga-ma-pa-da-ni-sa in Saralivarisai is Mayamalava Gowlai. The first thing I said when I listened to Aruna Sairam's Mayamalava Gowlai was "Idhu Poongadave taazhtiravai (Nizhalgal) song-oda raagam!" Kamboji became "(film)Sankarabharanam's song that has a line 'Kambhoji raaganu'" and Darbar for me is "Yenakkinayaga darbar-il evarum undo from the song Oru naal poduma in Tiruvilayadal" . Coming to think of it, there's a cheap thrill relating a Ragam to its corresponding tamizh song.

Ok, now about the concerts:

Ranjani-Gayatri : They sing for their audience. Gone are the days when one number Bhagavathar comes to izhittufy a ragam like a Tirunelveli alwah for 2 hours in a three hour concert. People now want to listen to maximum ragams, songs, variety in 3 hours and Ranjani-Gayatri manage to deliver their product that way. The Vidya Bharati auditorium was packed when we entered at 6.35 pm for a 6.45 concert. Apart from the varnams and the RTP, their Abhangs and Viruttams were the highlights. Their USP = pace. It was like listening to Superstar's "Vijay Merchant-Vijay Hazare" dialogue in Velaikkaran (wogay wogay Hindi makkale , I agree Amitabh did the original). No izhuvai - No aruvai - Superstar speed, that's Ranjani-Gayatri for you.

Sanjay Subrahmanyan : GG* is a major fan of his. Thanks to Annan Guevera who amukkufyed two tickets from his friend we managed to attend the concert and enjoyed it immensely. The acoustics in Music Academy were very good and despite sitting in the last row with a toongumoonji mama next to us, every syllable was clearly audible. The Tamizh songs are a highlight in his concerts. I have nothing against Telugu songs / Sanskrit slokas. Just that I relate to the Tamizh songs better 'coz one undestands the meaning.

Post concert, met one of Sanjay Subrahmanyan's students who I have been keeping in touch with only via scraps and messages on a social networking site. Was very glad to read his review in THE HINDU. Never got to listen to him live, though. All of twenty seven and already an Ilayathalapathi in the carnatic music scene. Way to go Rethas!

Aruna Sairam : An immensely enjoyable concert. Three hours at Mylapore Fine arts club was sheer bliss. Creativity, Packaging and Presentation - Aruna's style. She is the superstar-ini of Carnatic music and it was/is a kudumippidi shandai to get tickets for her concerts. After umpteen tweets, facebook messages, phone calls to friends of friends of friends and colleagues, I managed a ticket for the concert. Her Ragam-Tanam-Pallavi was a collage of different ragams with the central theme of Nandanar Sarithram. The audience went beserk when she sang the Pallavis of 'Satre Vilagiyirum Pillaai' , 'Vazhi maraitirukkude' and 'Kaana vendamo' . Neyar viruppam took over post the elaborate songs when she asked the rasikas, for their choice. "Given a choice between Madumeikkum and Vishamakkara Kannan which one would you prefer?" she asked. Most of them chose the latter. Actually I was waiting for Madumeikkum. It is my purushan's most favourite song but I believe Vishamakkara is the current hot hit.Two more Abhangs followed and the concert concluded with a Srinivasa Kavacham and a tamizh song on Tirupati Venkateshwarar.The audience gave a standing ovation for Aruna after the concert and sat down to listen to the Mangalam.

Kutcheri Bas:

I am glad the musicians these days are singing for the audience instead of doing an izhuvai-aruvai on their own, singing for themselves but the mama-mamis still haven't learnt basic kutchery manners.

This stupid, idiotic practice of getting up midway to mossukkufy pakoda-kaapi at the canteen during Tani aavardanam still continues.

Reserving seats with azhukku handkerchiefs for nathanars, oarpodis and sambhandis should be banned. People end up blocking as many as ten seats next to them.

Retire-aana mamas continue to read THE HINDU during the concerts. I thought this was a common sight only at kalyanams.

Hip mamas with Iphones and blackberrys were busy messaging their NRI sons and daughters on what, I don't know.

Music Academy is sooo bleddy Page 3 with paattis resembling RMKV models and item number lipsticks. Aduvum Dark red colour. sahikkala!

Ranjani-Gayatri and Aruna were singing a couple of songs looking at the paper. Bharadiyar should come back and write "Bit adikkakoodadu paapa".

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One more to my 2009 resolutions: Should resume my carnatic lessons.

Happy New Year !

Giftathon

Who doesn't like receiving gifts? Last year's 'Secret Santa' in office was fun 'coz it was just within our team. T gave me a whole lot of goodies and I just couldn't guess who my Secret Santa was till the end. Arj was my Secret Banta (!) and most of my gifts to her were toffees, Mc Donalds' big meal , chips - things that are very Saappatturaami.

This year, despite protests from ardent gift (receiving) lovers like me, the Secret Santa was made public... junta public i.e. office crowd including boring departments like finance, IT that has people who we refer as ext. 613, ext. 579 were made (forced to be) a part of this year's Secret Santa.

There was great excitement in office about Secret Santa particularly in our department . Some 20 of us who are oreda shopaholics including yours truly were looking forward to receiving gifts.

Boss and I were amongst those who didn't receive any gifts for four whole days...With boss' official permission to do an official reply-all, my spams continued to everyone - mails threatened people that they'd end up getting a Ghajini mottai incase the gifts didn't arrive on my desk.. I even informed (on reply-alls ofcourse) that I'd be away for client meetings and my Secret Santa can leave his/her giftS on the desk blah blah... No luck! But boss was lucky! She received her share of gifts the following day.. My wait continued...My alpa eccha-kaiyala-kaakha-ottadha Santa was never to be found... and the rest of the gift-less Bantas in office continued reply-all ing to my reply-all! I was loving the replya-alls ... it felt good to know that I was not alone!

I was S' Secret Santa and bought her quite a few stuff and was glad she liked everything including the paper jewellery and glass earrings.

In the last one week, everytime someone would receive a gift and get up from their desk acting like a kid to say "I have got a gift!" the entire office resembled a nursery school with people crowding his/her around to see what she/he received.

Some of the gifts that my fellow colleagues received: Candles, books, bouquets, Kingfisher pints, Naatu sarakku, Semi-nude poster of a girl, keychains, kurtas, Telugu DVD (for Superboss who is from Golt land), chappal (huh?), wallet...

Finally...My number came off on Wednesday! I had four gifts waiting at 9 am sharp when I reached office! Was thrilled! The whole office applauded - freedom from my reply-alls for them.. Finally!

My dear friend Arj told me she knew who my Secret Santa was - gave me some hints to say that he was a paavam from some boring department (IT, finance types) and came to her to seek her 'advice' on what I liked. I said "Sony experia" with an alpam thought that he may want to get what I wished for.

And here's what I got from my Secret Santa: Ear rings, chain, bangles, handbook (from handmade paper), chaat, chocolates, colorful pen.. I was super thrilled! Again a reply-all with a "Thank you Santa" !

In the meantime, some people were still disappointed 'coz they couldn't participate in the excitement since a whole lot of kanja-pisanaris never bothered to buy anything. SC is one of the nicest girls in office and it was sad to see her disappointed. Managed to buy a kurta from Fab India for SC. Boss too bought some stuff for people who never received gifts. The entire office was shopping in the nearby mall when I reached there. Did someone say recession?

Friday was revealer day when the Secret Santas were revealed. I was very eager to know who my Secret Santa was . Missed the revealer session since I am in Madras now. Was speaking to Arj this evening on the phone and asked her to tell me who my Secret Santa was so that I could call and thank him.

Arj mentioned that it was she who had bought all my gifts though she was not my Secret Santa."But why?", I asked her. She told me that she was sad to see me disappointed and I was maha touched. Not just for me. Pal ended up buying for boss, N and quite a few others. I thought it was a lovely gesture.

Thank you Arj! May you win the Cannes some day! (I can hear you say "I don't want Cannes... all I want is Cash!)

2008 has truly been a year of gifts for me- a foot massager, bose personal stereo, a surprise holiday, Canon camera, mobile - some I spent for , lots hujband spent for, super lots we spent for (our new home) ! May the trend continue next year too!

Mumbai ka maal 4

மும்பையில் எல்லோரும் சதா ஓடிக்கொண்டேயிருப்பார்கள். எங்கே, எதுக்கு என்றெல்லாம் கேட்கக்கூடாது. காலை 7.48 லோக்கல் ரயிலைப் பிடித்து அங்கே ஓர சீட்டை பிடிப்பது தொடங்கி, 9.11 BEST பஸ்ஸை ஸ்டேஷனலிருந்து ஆஃபீஸுக்கு ஓடிப்பிடித்து, ஆபிஸில் அரக்க பரக்க வேலை செய்து மறுபடியும் ஆபீஸ் டு ஸ்டேஷன் மாலை 5.39 பஸ், 6.02 ட்ரெயின், மறுபடியும் ஸ்டேஷனிலிருந்து இரவு 7.43 பஸ்ஸில் கிளம்பி 8 மணிக்கு வீடு வந்து சேர்ந்து, டின்னர் சமைத்து, 'பாலிகா வது' சீரியல் பார்த்துவிட்டு 11.30க்கு கண் அயர்ந்தால் ... இன்னும் 5 மணி நேரத்தில் எழுந்திருத்து குளித்து, சமைத்து, காலை 7.48 லோக்கலை பிடித்து.....

பல சமயம் இவர்களைப் பார்க்க பாவமாக இருக்கும். வீட்டில் நச்சரிக்கும் மாமியார், ஸ்கூல் / காலேஜ் செல்லும் குழந்தைகள், துரும்பு கூட எடுத்துப் போடாத கணவர் - இவர்கள் அனைவருக்கும் சமைத்து, வீட்டுப் பொறுப்புக்களையும் கவனித்துக் கொண்டு, இந்த ட்ரெயின் இழுபறியில் எப்படித்தான் சமாளிக்கிறார்களோ என்று தோன்றும்.

இதனால்தான் என்னவோ கூட்டமான ட்ரெயின்களில் "தக்கா மத் மாறோ(தள்ளாதே)" என்று நொடிகொருதரம் நம்மிடம் புலம்பும் லேடிஸைப் பார்க்கும்போதெல்லாம் , இன்றைக்கு காலை டிபனில் ஏதோ கசமுசா = கணவரிடம் திட்டு = அந்த கோபத்தை நம்மிடம் காட்டுகிறார் போல என்று ignore செய்துவிடுவேன். ரொம்ப கத்தினால், ஒரு நமட்டு சிரிப்பு சிரித்துவிட்டு அவர்களுடைய irritation-ஐ அதிகமாக்கிவிடுவேன்... cheap thrills!

"திங்கள் முதல் சனி வரை இப்படி ஓடிக்கொண்டேயிருக்கிறார்களே இவர்கள் எங்கே ஷாப்பிங் போவார்கள்? எங்கே கறிகாய் மற்றும் இதர சாமான்களை வாங்குவார்கள்? " என்று கேட்டால் "ட்ரெயினில்தான்", என்று விடை வரும்.

சென்ற வாரம் லேட்டாக எழுந்ததில் வழக்கமாக டாணென்று 7.30 க்கு கிளம்பும் என்(னவரு)னுடைய வண்டியை மிஸ் செய்துவிட்டேன். லேட்டாக கிளம்பியதால் லோக்கல் அன்று ட்ரெயினாய நமஹ தான். காலை 10.30 மணி ட்ரெயின் காலியாக இருந்த்து. ரொம்ப entertaining-ஆகவும் இருந்தது... பின்னே? ட்ரெயினேலேயே window shopping பண்ணேனே!

இதோ, ஒரு ஆல் இன் ஆல் அழகுராஜா. அவன் கொண்டு வந்த ஹேங்கரில் இருந்த பொருட்களை எண்ணுவதற்குள் நான் இறங்கும் ஸ்டேஷன் வந்துவிட்டது.

Left to right சொல்கிறேன்... எண்ணிக்கொள்ளுங்கள்
Row 1: நெயில் கட்டர், டார்ச் லைட்டர், ரப்பர் பேண்ட், ஊசி நூல், பாத்ரூம் பிரஷ், எரெஸர் செட்.
Row 2: பெளச், க்ளிப்ஸ், கறிகாய் சீவி, பென், ஸ்டேப்ளர் செட், பாத்திரம் ஸ்கரப்பர்
Row 3: நாப்தலீன் பால்ஸ், சீப்பு, கேஸ் லைட்டர், கத்திரிக்கோல், டூத் பிரஷ், டஸ்டர்....

அப்பாடா! எல்லாவற்றையும் பார்த்தாகிவிட்டது என்று திரும்பினால், அவனுடைய இன்னொரு ஹேங்கர்.... தனித்தனியாக ஃபோட்டோ எடுக்க நேரமில்லை. அதனால் அரக்க பரக்க எடுத்த இரு ஃபோட்டோக்கள்.

டைம் ஆச்சு....புடே சலா புடே சலா அதாவது (அடுத்த ப்ளாகிற்கு தாவுங்க) ...
"முன்னாடி போங்க! முன்னாடி போங்க!"

Naan, nee, Ghajini

The Ghajini haircut is a craze in Mumbai thanks to Aamir Khan’s super marketing strategy. One enthu kutty had come to office this morning....

More Ghajini mottais’ photos tomorrow (hopefully!)

PS : Kollywood Kostan # 19's correct answer: Nala Damayanthi. Congrats Ambi !

Akka Sokkavum Anna Gueveravum

We are one vetti kudumbam. When the three of us - Akka sokka, Annan guevera [please read his comment in this post - he is the inspiration behind my tele-vettis ] and I meet, we discuss the future of art families - i.e kalai kudumbams.

We are irresponsible children . Never have we discussed Amma's health, Appa's tensions, their finances, kids' future etc. Whenever we meet in Madras, our conversations are invariably around more important things like "How long has Thalaivaasal Vijay been sporting his wig?" "Where is DD Drama king Master Shridhar right now?" or the coincidence of Actress Lakshmi's # 3 and # 4 purushans in back to back serials - Kolangal and Arasi.

I kinda pity some of my friends - They discuss boring stuff like shopping and partying with their siblings....they don't call their akka-anna naaye paeeye, sheniyane. They speak with them in Inglipees...They say "I miss my sister-brother".....How boring, illa? I am glad I have an Akka sokka and Annan guevera who are un-senti fools, just like I am. (Ok both of you, where are my gifts?)

I think it is in our genes. Whenever I get a call from my parents from Madras, I know they have had an argument. No, it is not about some phamily related stuff. The conversation goes like this. Appa, "B... isn't this villian in Kalasam serial the same as the one in Mangalyam? Amma says No, they both are different. I say it is the same guy . Please do Panchayattu". I almost see one vetri punnagai in Amma's face via the phone when I tell Appa that the former is Kuduvanjeri Kumar and the latter, Kalaimamani Kumar and the conversation from mummy "Inda Appa-kku onnume teriyala... naa appolerndu sollaren ava rendu perum vera vera nnu" (Ok, I can't translate this, the essence will be lost).

Back to Akka-Annan puraanam, (to all the girlees) when was the last time your Annan gifted you something? And more specifically what was it? Let me tell you mine. Two cassettes - Award winning dialogues of Nadigar Thilagam's Thangapadakkam and Gowravam . I know it meant a lot to him to part with two of his most cherished possessions -cassettes with dialaaks of these two films which are his most favourite movies till date... films that he considers are worth ten Oscars each ( not Aascars, you fools).

Ok why am I going on and on about these two? Not just because of this stupid hope that one of them will gift me Moserbaer's five pack DVD with Sivaji's Thangapadakkam, Vietnam Veedu and Gowravam that they have been promising for years now but also because I want people to realise that they are doing major droham to Kalai-TV-Kollywood ulagam by not granting my leave.

I was / am really looking forward to meeting my Annan guevera and family this December, in a couple of days from now - to discuss many many many things. The most important on the agenda was how to take the tele-vettiness forward , on the blog. Should we do a search for Master Shridhar? Should we do a blog meet to decide the successor for Kalaimamani Pasi Sathya? What next ?

....But ... but my dear readers, my boss says that he needs to 'discuss' my leave. At work, I report to four people - functionally, technically, horizontally, vertically , financially, creatively.. etc etc. My leave application goes to one who discusses with another and the third one analyses it and the fourth one puts thought over it...hmmm... At this point in time, I don't know where my leave application stands.

I need to take four days off... to meet Annan Guevera.... to discuss Kalai kudumbams... to discuss tele-vettis... to discuss the life and times of Pollachi Babu, Mannu (mud) Ajai Ratnam, Naanjil Nalini amongst many others. But bosses say "Recession , no leave". Are they even aware of the droham they are doing to Kalaiulagam by rejecting my leave application?

Dear Blog readers, If you want to be entertained with more nonsense, more tele-vettis, more senseless stuff like this post - please help me get my four days off. Start a facebook group, an orkut community, light a candle outside your house.. er.. I meant switch on the tv tonight at 8 and... say "Blogeswari-in Sevai Kalai-ulagakku tevai" and pray ... pray for my leave before I go one last time tomorrow and stand outside my boss' cabin with a paavam face.

PS : Boss - I don't want to be like Ms. G who conveniently took off for ten days citing her mother-in-law's illness and partied in Hyderabad last Deepavali when the team was working on the relaunch. I don't want to be like many many many others in office who say "Appa-kku adi-vayathula asthama, Purushan-ku pallu-la piles and take off for a fortnight and sit at home. All I need is four days for Kalaisevai. Kedaikkuma? Enna paatha paavama illa.. Naa konjam nallavadaan.

Tele-vetti 13

Tele-vetti 12 THE AMMIES© winner Vijaya - 9/9. Congratulations Vijaya!

The scores:

Sridhar - 8/9

Sud Gopal - 7/9

Kaushik - 7/9

Ambi - 7/9

Swap - 7/9

Old Timer - 4/9

The correct answers:

1. Subalekha Sudhakar - S P Shailajagaaru's purushangaaru.

2. Mounika - Balu Magendra's Rettai vaal kuruvi

3. Gopi - DD Drama's aastana vidhwan. Has been acting for centuries now. Used to dup for Subalekha Sudhakar in Kolangal

4. Ravi Raghavendra - claim to fame : Rajnikant's brother-in-law [Latha's brother]

5. Anuradha Suresh Krishnamoorthy - Carnatic singer, now acts in Arasi and a couple of more serials. Her purushan Advocate Suresh acts in Kalasam as customs officer (info courtesy: Aval Vigadan)

6. Durga : I like this girl. Her sis Vasuki used to act in Mel maadi gaali a decade ago (Sun tv)

7. Vatsala Rajagopal : Typecast as nosey paatti.

8. Deepa : Recently seen in Vaaranam 1000 as Surya's sis. Is married to Narendra (?) who acted in Kolangal as the dancer.

9. Padu a.k.a Gowtham : Son of Late Major Soundarrajan. Made his debut in Vaname illai and acts in a couple of serials. Padu and wife Koki do some kai-kaal asachifying and call it ballet. Dei!

Tele-vetti 13 - Easyamma easy!

• Identify the films
• One entry per person / Only one guess allowed.
• One point per correct answers - 9 points to be won.
• Email your answers to blogeswari {AT} gmail {DOT} com.
• Please do not post your answers in the comments section.
• Last date for sending your entries -Wednesday, 24th December '08.

• Email your answers to blogeswari {AT} gmail {DOT} com.
• Please do not post your answers in the comments section.

Kollywood Kostan # 17 . Ambi got it right. Aboorva Raagangal !

Kollywood Kostan # 18. LKS mailed the right answer. Kaakha Kaakha

Over to Kollywood Kostan # 19. Identify the film.

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btw, have you read this one?

Wig-gypedia

"Topa Topa ..." my dad used to scream whenever there was a kezha vayasu Gemini or kezha Shivaji song on Oliyum Oliyum, when it was the whole and sole entertainment for most of us.

Our (sis, bro and I) aversion towards wig-wearers started then. Any actor with a wig or a topa as we call it (toupee`) automatically came under the trash or rejected list. This was not the wig that they used wear to give them an old get-up or for any character in particular. This was what we call the 'topa' that they used to wear to make them look younger, fuller...atleast that's what they thought.

Here's my top 10 of Wig-gypedia.

#10 . At #10 we have this fellow whose name I am not aware of. This is the first time I am seeing a model for an ad, wear a wig. Ads with loving, doting, ever-smiling, every-ironed shirt wearing dads have models who kind of look natural...atleast supposed to. I hate this ad not just for its script but also for the model with an ugly wig. Just, look at this idiot who stares at us not just on TV but all across Mumbai from the hoardings.

#9 . Why do television anchors need to wear a wig? This guy, Balaji is a good RJ, wannabe anchor on TV and in my opinion, doesn't need a wig 'coz his hairline is decent. Does he wear this horrible thing on his head when he is on TV only 'coz he is also a wannabe actor in Kollywood and wants to impress Kollywood directors with his youth look?



#8. Actor-voice artiste Arif Zakaria. I had worked with him in an Indian English (!) film where he played an old guy in most parts of the film. He'd come to the sets wearing his 'normal' wig, go to the make-up room, change to the old wig, for the character. Quite a lot of effort, I thought especially when we used to shoot till 2 am and had to report next morning (I mean the same morning )at 8 .. this went on for almost 20 days! More than the fact that he wore the wig, he's on this list 'coz his wig was the ugliest thing that I had ever seen on earth...er.. on someone's head.


#7 . Ilayathilagam Prabhu Sir & Bhaakyaraaj Sir. Honestly, Prabhu WAS quite ok as an actor, especially in films where he played the second lead. Chinnathambi-Periyathambi, Guru Sishyan to name a few. Adu ennamo terila enna maayamo terila these guys get jittery when they see new kids in Kollywood making it big and in a desperate attempt to be on top , start wearing this hideous thing on their heads... and their downfall begins then.
Another example. Bhaakyaraj. uuuveee! This guy was bankrupt and had this sogam cover story on Kumudam a few years ago.... No money but still had the money to buy a wig.

Add Sathyaraj to this list. They wear such similar wigs that I wonder if they share the same wig. Double uveeee!

#6. Once upon a time he was the Kanavu-kannan of most young girlees in Tamizhland including yours truly. Karthik is now on my kandravee-kannan list all thanks to his topa.

#5. Actors, yes. They are supposed to look good and yaaaooung on screen. Ivanukku enna poachu? Once upon a time director and trrrrryyying to become a yaaoung heart throb with a youth look - R V Udhayakumar. Ugly face. Ugly wig.


#4. Barely three years old in this industry, pal has already started wearing a wig. Saw a few scenes from Dhaam Dhoom on tv with Jeyam Ravi and that stupid wig. Jeyam, your azhivu kaalam is nearing.

#3. Mike Mogaaaan. Yagain, once more to the never ending list of trying-to-make-a-comeback list. Deeei!! Deeei !! Why the why? Go back to Suntv serials and act as Five girls' father or Kollywood will instantly take you as Nayanthara's Annan or become Sandalwood's (Kannada film industry) next Appa-in-demand roles. Why the why do you torture us your ghastly topa?

# 2. The last two numbers are going to be a sort of let down for us, Kollywood fans. I am not including Kamalagaasan and Thalaivar for their wigs. I cannot do that drogam to Kollywood.
Sachin Pilgaonkar - The Bhishma Pitamah of Marathi films, Marathi ads, Marathi television shows, anything and everything that's Marathi. Once upon a time kisu-kisu-thufyed with Sarika of Kamalagaasanji fame, this guy is at # 2. A few years ago, he took part in the world famous in India dance contest on television called Nach Baliye which went on and on for almost four months. Not only did he survive and win the competition in the end but also managed to do the sesky dance movements with the wig intact. I used to watch the show only to see how he successfully managed to dance with the wig. Wah Sachinbhai! Kai zaala ta konaala baagichla (Who cares what it means! Marathi sounds like this wonly!)


# 1. It was a hugely blow to my topa-identifying skills when a dear friend told me that Amitabh Bachchan wears a wig. I didn't believe her. This particular friend works as an Executive producer in Bollywood films and had worked with Big B in a popular Hindi film. She once sneaked into Big B's make-up room to inform him that his shot was ready and ... and saw his almost there sotta tala.

Soon to feature in 2009 top # 10 Wig-gypedia - Madhavan, Shaam, Abbas... Welcome guys! Welcome to Wig-gy pedia ! Wig-a poduyya!

Eppadi irunda naango...

...ippadi Aayittomungo!

Enga logo-va paarungo!

Gumtalakkadi Gummango... Recession eppo pogumungo?

Good day

It is a indeed a Good day. Was simply thrilled when I read this piece in today's Brand equity, supplement to the Economic Times .

Brand equity ad agency reckoner rates Black Magic Motion Pictures as the No.2 ad production house in the country. Directors Dadu (Abhijit Chaudhuri) and Arjun Gourisaria are super people to work with. They are fun loving and their enthusiasm reflects in the films they direct.

Dadu and Arjun truly believe in encouraging new talent - their assistant directors, in particular. Congratulations, both of you - you deserve it!

Here's an ad film directed by Dadu and Arjun recently. I am posting this ad not just 'coz its a 'GOOD DAY' film but also because I have a small association with this ad...'ahem ahem'.

சொதப்பல் அட்வர்டைஸ்மென்ட் 3

With all my lauvv for the advertising agencies and the creative duds that work there, here's an ad for Welhome home accessories / home / linen.

Please read the copies:

"Ab advice denewali Mrs. Advani aapse advice maangegi"

"Ab Salaah denewali Mrs. Salma aapki salaah maangegi"

"Ab tips denewali Mrs. Tipnis aapse tips maangegi"

You don't need to know Hindi to understand the copy. Its an absurd , senseless thought.

Sad, pathetic, terrible - Words fail me. How can one even think of such trash?

The world famous in India agency - Mccann erickson is the brain(less) behind this print ad. How do you think they must've come up with this ad? Here's the one line of the script from the client meeting to the presentation.

Scene 1 /Location: Welhome office/ Time: 11am till 1pm / Day 1

Cast :

From Welspun, the client - VP Marketing, brand manager, junior manager, trainee.

From Mccann erickson, the agency - Creative director with a french beard , Bald Copywriter, pony tailed art director, Servicing director with the brightest lipstick , Senior manager servicing in the shortest skirt possible, junior manager in the shortest top possible, trainee with shorthair and a single green colored plait from nowhere + 4 designation-less idiots to fill the crowd like junior artistes in films.

Shot:

Client briefs the ad agency that they want a kick a$$ idea for their print ad. Deadline - 24 hours.

Scene 2/ Location : Restaurant /Time: 2 - 5pm /Day 1

Agency gumbal gets out of the client's office and heads directly.... to the nearest - most expensive restaurant to fill their stomachs with mutton momos, chicken tikkas, fish fries, parathas, biryanis , couple of desserts . Back in office at 5 pm after a 'tiring' day, the restaurant bill is immediately submitted to the accounts department - "Lunch at XYZ restaurant - brainstorming session for Welspun"

Scene 3 /Location: Mccann erickson - Conference room /Time - 5.30 /Day 1

The team sits down to discuss Welspun - Servicing manager pulls out research , strategy and all kinds of data - hundreds of printouts with meaningless stuff on 'consumer insight'

Scene 3.1/ Location: Mccann erickson - Smoking room/ Time: 5.35-7.35 pm /Day 1

Smoke break - Creative duds discuss Martin Scorcese, Seven Samurai, Irani films, Majid Majidi, Piyush Pandey's moustache, Prasoon Pandey's favourite drink, Balki's black shirt and decides to get back to the conference after this 'mini' break of two hours.

Scene 4 /Location: Mccann erickson - Conference room /Time: 7:40 pm /Day 1

After two hours at the smoking room discussing thought provoking stuff, the team decides to head to the nearest club/ bar / pub to 'ideate' . French beard wants to go to the newly opened X bar... baldy wants to go to Y to check out the chicks. They go to Zanzibarquntilique or a pub with a similar name that you will never be able to pronounce.

Scene 5 /Location: Some pub in posh South Mumbai /Time: 8:30- ardaraathri

Team of 9 idiots and a trainee dance and drink like modakudiyans.

NEXT DAY

Scene 6 /Location: Mccann erickson - conference room /Time: 10 am - DAY 2

Team regroups at the office, discuss last evening's party, chicks, Bombay Times Page 3 and suddenly realize that they have a presentation at 11 at Welspun and they need ideas.

Just then, french beard gets a call from Mrs. Tipnis, his landlady. Ponytail parattai reads a news item in Hindustan Times about Mrs &Mr . Advani celebrating Karwachauth in Delhi. Servicing makku is caught ogling at Salma Hayek's poster in the boss' cabin. Bulb flashes! They quickly write three different copies that read,

"Ab advice denewali Mrs. Advani aapse advice maangegi" , "Ab Salaah denewali Mrs. Salma aapki salaah maangegi" , "Ab tips denewali Mrs. Tipnis aapse tips maangegi"... blah blah blah Welspun.

Scene 7 /Location: Welhome office /Time: 11am till 1pm - Day 2

Its a bigger team from Mccann erickson now at the client presentation - 9 duds from yesterday+ National creative director + National associate creative director + National associate regional creative director + International creative assistant director = Some twenty odd guys beaming with asattu smiles attack the client's office.

The National creative director with his ondrai anaa presentations starts talking about consumer insight, strategy, goals, long-term orientation, genre, 360 degree approach, modern yet traditional housewives, traditional yet modern housewives, Indian values and presents this International idea of Mrs. Tipnis, Advani and Salma....

Scene 7.1 /Location: Welhome office /Time: 1-5 pm - Day 2

The client is impressed since the agency has amazed them with terms like 360 degrees, insight, modern yet traditional and brought out the essence of what the Indian housewife wants today - Welspun!!!!

An elated client orders pizza and beer for all.. The free-a-kudutha-phenyl-kooda-kudikkara- agency makkal drink like modakkudiyans and get back to office to talk about how 'stressed' they are... how 'difficult' the client meeting has been, how 'tiring' the last two days have been...

Dear readers, even you can become a copywriter/ creative director/ national creative director in an ad agency. If you are guy, all you need is a french beard , ponytail , dirty shorts, dirtier t-shirt and you must must talk about Piyush, Prasoon, Irani films, Croatian film festival 24*7. If you are a girl you'll need to wear the shortest skirt possible, sport short hair+piggy tail kind of single coloured plait suspended from nowhere and must must talk about Piyush Pandey's third wife, your ex-boyfriend's current flame and say "Goa trip rocked man!" every five seconds.

Now here's your first lesson in copywriting. Let's help Mccann erickson create more such ads. In Ma.Nannan style, "enge pasangala complete pannunga paakalam?"

"Ab blog karne waali Mrs.Blogeswari bhi.............................

Tele-vetti 12

Tele-vetti 11 's Aascar award winners -

Tampa Tamil film Ph.d LKS & 'Superstar'ksa Anantha - 10/10. Congratulations !

The scores:

Dandilsa - 9/10

Soap - 9/10

Vidhya - 8/10

Faitoo - 8/10

Ambi - 8/10

Artnavy - 7/10

Ila - 7/10

Old timer - 6/10

The correct answers

1. 16 vayadinile

2. Ninaithale Inikkum

3. Mr. Bharat

4. Aboorva Ragangal

5. Sri Raghavendra

6. Mullum malarum

7. Avargal

8. Aadu puli aattam

9. Moondru mudichu

10. Thalapathi

Tele-vetti 12

• Identify all the Taap stars of television.
• One attempt per person / Only one guess allowed.
• One point per correct answers - 9 points to be won.
• Email your answers to blogeswari {AT} gmail {DOT} com.
• Please do not post your answers in the comments section.
• Last date for sending your entries -Thursday, 18th December 2008

• Email your answers to blogeswari {AT} gmail {DOT} com.
• Please do not post your answers in the comments section.

Kollywood Kostan # 16's correct answer - Anjaathey . Congratulations Reenga ! Over to Kollywood Kostan # 17. Identify the film.

Karachi mein ek kirukku

This video has been doing the rounds on facebook. If you are para vetti like I am today, count the number of “Karachis” on this video.

Ohoobama

Was reading this week's Ananda vigadan. Sabalist Madhan's Kelvi-badhil is usually on my 'banned' list. If I wanted to read something like that, I'd rather buy an yellow book-u.

But his cartoons are top class. This week, one of the readers wanted to know how to draw an

Obama cartoon. Madhan started with an exclamation mark and completed it with an Obama.

I dutifully ctrl-ved from Ananda vigadan (not traced ).

What did Michelle sing for her husband during their kaadal days?

Sunday picture, Monday beach-u, Tuesday circus, Wednesday drama... tururururu..

Naama poavom Jaaliyaga Obamaaa.

I can already see Kadi mannargal and mannigal asking why not "Mama mama mama... O-bama baama baama" ?

Enakke taangala!

Meanwhile, enjoy these two posts . Have a fun-filled week ahead!

Rab Ne Bana di Jodi

I should have known...when, for an 8:30 pm show my purushan left at 7:45 to buy tickets and came back with a jubilant smile + 2 tickets (Rs.120 each - boohooo!) from a neighbourhood multiplex... I should have known that we were going to suffer three hours of a torture called RNABCDEFGH whatever!

ISHTORY-ji

One sodabutti called Surinder-ji (paavi Saaruk kaaan) works with Punjab Power and gets married to a much younger Taani-ji (Anushka Sharma) when Taani's groom dies in an accident on the day of their shaadi. Taani-ji is all upset with the marriage and azhuvaachi 'coz saccha pyaar ek baar hota hai aur friendship aur kuch kuch bhi aur mohabbat bhi ek baar ki pyaar mein khojata hai kinda Yash Chopra - Karan Johar-ish nonsense..

Surinder-ji wants to win Taani-ji's love and takes the avtar of Raj (Padupaavi Saaruk AYYAYYO!) with a tight t-shirt, cool chain (Double Ayyayo!) - yes yes the same Kuch kuch vaanti hota hai look. Raj joins the dance school where Taani-ji has enrolled herself to do some Shiamak Davar exercises. Taani-ji falls in love with Raj and Surinder-ji is upset. Confused? So are we... so is Aditya Chopra... his father... his vetti brother and many others! Welcome to RNBDJ affectionately called as Rab Ne Bana di Jodi.

Dei...ji!

Surinder-ji becomes Raj-ji and Taani-ji cannot recognize him...This is creativity at its best. Taanji is one homely Punjabi kudi at home making chappathi but becomes pant shirt ponnattha in her dance class, oor suthifies with Raj, sings dances and all that. Which Indian homely ladki does all this ya? say me... Abacharamji!

Suddenly with the help of Vinay Pathak-ji 's hair salon Surinder-ji becomes Raj-ji in exactly five minutes and comes back to the salon to have drinks and talk about Saccha Pyaarji Mohabbat ko jootaa aur Rabji ne friendship ki jodiji...

Let us go and have Sojji Bajji at this point - Interval.

Enna mannichidunga-ji

At eggjactly half time I plead and beg of my 'ji' so that we can leave the theatreji and go home. "We have only seen the film for Rs.60-ji... let's complete the rest Rs.60-ji...recessionji... don't waste moneyji" said aathukaarar-ji with a wicked smileji.

Rest of the jis

Anushka Sharma as Taani-ji is pretty, nice smile and all that - good saas bahu material - Ekta-ji, she is all yours!

Vinay Pathak-ji - one number boring typecast as a typical Punjabi the munda. Mundam, to be precise!

Extra-jis

One call from Adi-ji - The Preitys, Kajols, Bipashas and Laras come falling to do a thundu beedi

dance role. There's one utterly horrible number sung by Sonu Nigam has Saaruk kaan dancing with the above heroines in different sequences. Ofcourse the final sequence belongs to Aditya Chopraji's lauvv girl Rani Mukherjiji with one proud "naan inda veetu marumagal" look. Preity Zinta is all set to compete with Hemamalini and Sharmila Tagore in playing Amitabh Bachchan's wife. Preityji looks Paattiji.

Songs , dance and other nonsensejis

Take one number Salim-Suleiman, add a Sukhwinder with a definite Punjabi number, one Shreya Ghoshal and Roopkumar Rathod for a islow number, Sunidhi chauhan-ish kudiye, makhnave kinda song and you have a Yash raj album ready! Dance sequences choreographed by Vaibhavi Merchant and PT exercise master Shiamak Davar.

Surprise-ji

No Abhishek Bachchan in guest role as Taani-ji's boyfriend , No Amitabh Bachchan as Amritsar Panchayat board president giving advice to young couples along with wife Hemamaliniji and surprise surprise NO KIRRON KHER as Saaruk Khan's amma feeding him gajar ka halwa saying "lo ji puttar.... rab ne rabdi nahi diya" kinda nonsense.

Worseji

What's worse than having kids in the theatre, screaming, pushing your seat with their feet ? Having - Punjabi kids in the theatre screaming and pushing your seat with their feet! Ayyayo! If three Punjabi ladies behind us were bad enough , imagine three Punju women, four Punju kids behind us and a Punju film on screen. It was not our dayji!

Rab we Met

At the end of a painful two hours, all you hear is "Jo Rab hai woh Pati hai... " "Jo Pati hota hai woh Rab ki baat hai" "Rab jo hai woh Tub hai" for almost half an hour - You end up in a Mab-bbu after the torturous Rab-bu dialogues.

This is a film whose length is at the max. one hour. Adi-ji and team stretch it like a bubble gum and it goes on and on like the kesari they serve in Yashraj canteen.

Rab Ne Bana di Bore -.5 (that's a minus point five) out of 5. Don't go anywhere close to the theatre. Sheer torture it is!

Tele-vetti 11

Tele-vetti 10 Aascar award goes to Raji . Congratulations!

Scores:

Raji - 9/10

Vidhya - 8/10

Radha - 7/10

Old timer - 6/10

Vijaya - 5/10

Ambi - 5/10

The correct answers:

1.Iru kodugal

2.Nootukku 100

3.Velli vizha

4. Kaaviya thalaivi

5.Unnal mudiyum thambi

6.Missiyamma

7.Avvai shanmughi

8.Vanji kottai vaaliban

9.Then Nilavu

10. Paasa malar

TELE-VETTI 11 - Superstar's Super collage

• Identify all the Sooper films of Superstar
• One attempt per person / Only one guess allowed.
• One point per correct answers - 10 points to be won.
• Email your answers to blogeswari {AT} gmail {DOT} com.
• Please do not post your answers in the comments section.
• Last date for sending your entries -Monday, 15th December 2008
  
• Email your answers to blogeswari {AT} gmail {DOT} com.
• Please do not post your answers in the comments section.
  

Kollywood Kostan # 16's correct answer - Anjaathey . Congratulations Reenga!

Jai Jai Mataram

Keechu Kuralazhagis are not for me. 99% of the female playback singers (Mahati, Srilekha, Chinmayi etc.) sing in their false tones.... and a lot of male playback singers sing like girls (Harish Raghavendra, Unnikrishnan, Krish etc.)

Shubha Mudgal is one powerful voice... one of the best moments in my career was when I had worked on a music video with Shubha Mudgal. Her performance in front of the camera was amazing! It takes something to perform the same thing take after take with the same energy.

I take great pride in saying that I was a part of the team that worked on this music album, this video in particular. The peppier version of the same track was filmed with dancer/actor Shobhana. That's yet another beautiful video which I shall post sometime.

For now, here's the video that I have been talking about.This song (not the video) also features several carnatic musicians' voices in the chorus viz. Ranjani, Gayatri, Palakkad Sriram...