Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Ingredients of a Hit Tamizh film these days

  • Daadi hero, lungi, no kuliyal for 1 month trained at 'koothu Pattarai'. If Koothu Pattarai not available, former assistant directors would do - 1 number
  •  'Chechi' heroine - 1 number
  • Aadu - 1 dozen
  • Maadu - 2 dozens
  • Over smart kids befriending hero /heroine saying 'Ennangraa' - 1 dozen
  • 'Iyalbaana mugangal' also known as Nadikka teriyaada faces who give no or less selavu to producer - 15 numbers
  • Amma character - 150 decibels minimum
  • Appa character - Indecipherable slang for city mammal - 1 number (iduve taangadu)
  • Character aaaaartistes who will get speshal mention in Sun TV program and interview on (Sug)Haasini pesum padam - 3 numbers
  • Director who can use terms like 'Feel panni' 'pongi ezhuvaa', 'avangaloada naamalum travel pandrom' - 1 number
  • Music Launch - 1 big number with Mu.Ka and gang as chief guest
  • Kamalagaasan or Rajnikant at the music launch talking about how they azhudufyed and didn't sleep for a day after watching climax- 1/2 hour footage each with 5 commercial breaks on Sunnnn TV ; 10 breaks on Vijay TV
  • K Balachandar's handwritten letter to director on how he didn't sleep for two days after watching the climax - 1 number (published on Behindwoods, and India glitz courtesy PRO Nikhil Murugan)
  • Special screenings for Rajni Sir, S P Muthuraman Sir, Shankar Sir, Mu. Ka family * 2  and yes, Boney Kapoor-ji who will buy the rights and remake it with Salman Khan - 5 numbers

Whether or not the film has all or any of the above, the film has to have a 'shocking climax' which should compulsorily include Tamizh cinemavin talai-ezhuttu i.e the heroine's rape scene so that the moment people are out of the theaters they update their fb/ twitter a/cs with their reviews like 'Disturbing yet wonderful climax" 'I am crying after watching this film but thanks to XYZ (husband/bf) who held my hand I am ok.. Love you XYZ".

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Beauty is Botox deep

I am told these days getting a Botox job done has become as common as putting Amrutanjan for talavali. Atleast that's what it looks like. Visited a reputed parlour last month and there were brochures and brochures on what Botox is all about. Cut to dermatologist. When did Sori, padai, Sirangu doctor become a beauty expert? Enakku konjam ancient-a feeling aavudu... 'coz this guy had fultoo posters on crow feet, mynaa forehead, kuruvi chin etcetra. And there were ladies walking in and out of his clinic for Botox (naa patients' register paathene :-p)

Cut to home. One relative maami wondering how Hema malini is looking so youth at 62.And Siridevi's 'Siri' is intact without any flaws even now. Dho-da!

In my opinion, all Botox jobs make you look like a palli. You end up with just one expression post Botox. It's a weird combo of azhugai-sirippu. Here are some of the baddest Botox jobs I have seen recently.

1. Gauri Khan. This expression only I was talking about in the earlier paragraph. Imagine her screaming at Saaruk khan for putting eera towel on the bed with this expression. Kaamedy-a illa? One Botox, and this expression is what you will end up 24*7

2. Vikram. Late entry in the field. Two flops back to back. Thanks to daadi and all pal tried to camouflage his age a bit, but oflate with all youth-action roles going to the under 30s, this over 40 mama had to had to get an urgent Botox job done. Look at the photo below.Once again the, I-have-had-velakkennai-but-I-am-pretending-to-love-it expression.

3. Hema malini-ji - Can't blame her. Two vettu daughters. One (unofficial) purusan trying to act in some Yamla Pagla type flop movies. Somebody has to earn in the family to keep the ulai burning, no? With fellow Botox-an Amitabh Bahchan-ji giving vaazhvu to the likes of Hema malini-ji in Amma-Appa-pyaar hai type of films and Pothy's types signing her for endorsements, Paatti.. sorry Akka-vukku vaazhvudaan. Botox ki Jai Ho!

4. Nita Ambani. For all her patronage to Botox , she and purusan can buy a Cricket team and get Botox to sponsor it also. Periya edam. But same azhugai-sirippu thanks to Botox.

5. Saarukh kaan. When Botox happens on the face, the neck is ignored. You start resembling the 'Oanaan' family. This guy is frowning and there are no lines on his forehead / between the eyebrows. Looks maha weird. The picture down is from a teaser promo of a new show he is hosting. Wait till the main promo is on air. Saaruk and Chameleon #sameguy only.

6. Shobhaaaa Deeee. The main reason for her to write books like 'Shobhaa at Sixty' 'Seruppadi at Seventy' etc is only for media and her Page 3 'mwaah' 'mwaah' friends to cover the launch of the book and write/ say "Mwaah Mwaah, Shobhaa you don't look 60..mwah mwaah". Don't believe me? Watch this (01:00 onwards). Her next book should be titled 'Botox since twenty'.

This blog post is a result of a serious addiction in the family. Husb and I have become like participants of Pappaiya Pattimandrams. We watch anything on TV - Bollywood films, interviews, even news for that matter we start our ''Ivan/ Ival Botox-a illaya?" debate.

Haai! Idea! I think I should suggest this 'Tamizh peNgalukku Botox - Azhaga, illaya?" to 'Neeya Naana' Gopinath. He will izhuttify and make a two hour show featuring the greats like Sugasini, Kuyili, tundu beedi TV actors, failed directors and that again will bring me back to writing yet another post on Botox. What say?

Boss (e) Blogeswari

Promotion,Target, Attritions, Additions, Anger, Grey hair, Stress, Interviewed, was interviewed, Hip Holidays, Doctor visits, raise, More doctor visits, Raise, Hospitalization, Weekends tata, review with CEO, Weekend breaks bye bye, Love-with-Laptop, One-fight-a-day with team, Blog go-go, Twitter come come, facebook bye bye, facebook hello hello, 9-9, meetings, marathon meetings, Bye bye fitness, Welcome Tiredness....phew!

That was the 14 month summary of my boss-giri!

Podumdaa saami!

Saturday, January 01, 2011

And the award goes to...

Vodafone Blackberry services!

A post for the second half of year 2010 after this one was due but thought I'd write about my most favorite and effective advertisement of 2010.

Loved the simplicity, the way the message was conveyed effectively, loved the jingle, the casting... everything about this TVC.

Congratulations Ogilvy (advertising agency), Nirvana films (producer/director) and Clinton Cerejo (music director)!

Happy New Year to all of you!