With all my lauvv for the advertising agencies and the creative duds that work there, here's an ad for Welhome home accessories / home / linen.
Please read the copies:
"Ab advice denewali Mrs. Advani aapse advice maangegi"
"Ab Salaah denewali Mrs. Salma aapki salaah maangegi"
"Ab tips denewali Mrs. Tipnis aapse tips maangegi"You don't need to know Hindi to understand the copy. Its an absurd , senseless thought.
Sad, pathetic, terrible - Words fail me. How can one even think of such trash?
The world famous in India agency - Mccann erickson is the brain(less) behind this print ad. How do you think they must've come up with this ad? Here's the one line of the script from the client meeting to the presentation.
Scene 1 /Location: Welhome office/ Time: 11am till 1pm / Day 1Cast :
From Welspun, the client - VP Marketing, brand manager, junior manager, trainee.
From Mccann erickson, the agency - Creative director with a french beard , Bald Copywriter, pony tailed art director, Servicing director with the brightest lipstick , Senior manager servicing in the shortest skirt possible, junior manager in the shortest top possible, trainee with shorthair and a single green colored plait from nowhere + 4 designation-less idiots to fill the crowd like junior artistes in films.
Shot:
Client briefs the ad agency that they want a kick a$$ idea for their print ad. Deadline - 24 hours.
Scene 2/ Location : Restaurant /Time: 2 - 5pm /Day 1Agency gumbal gets out of the client's office and heads directly.... to the nearest - most expensive restaurant to fill their stomachs with mutton momos, chicken tikkas, fish fries, parathas, biryanis , couple of desserts . Back in office at 5 pm after a 'tiring' day, the restaurant bill is immediately submitted to the accounts department - "Lunch at XYZ restaurant - brainstorming session for Welspun"
Scene 3 /Location: Mccann erickson - Conference room /Time - 5.30 /Day 1The team sits down to discuss Welspun - Servicing manager pulls out research , strategy and all kinds of data - hundreds of printouts with meaningless stuff on 'consumer insight'
Scene 3.1/ Location: Mccann erickson - Smoking room/ Time: 5.35-7.35 pm /Day 1
Smoke break - Creative duds discuss Martin Scorcese, Seven Samurai, Irani films, Majid Majidi, Piyush Pandey's moustache, Prasoon Pandey's favourite drink, Balki's black shirt and decides to get back to the conference after this 'mini' break of two hours.
Scene 4 /Location: Mccann erickson - Conference room /Time: 7:40 pm /Day 1After two hours at the smoking room discussing thought provoking stuff, the team decides to head to the nearest club/ bar / pub to 'ideate' . French beard wants to go to the newly opened X bar... baldy wants to go to Y to check out the chicks. They go to Zanzibarquntilique or a pub with a similar name that you will never be able to pronounce.
Scene 5 /Location: Some pub in posh South Mumbai /Time: 8:30- ardaraathri
Team of 9 idiots and a trainee dance and drink like modakudiyans.
NEXT DAY
Scene 6 /Location: Mccann erickson - conference room /Time: 10 am - DAY 2Team regroups at the office, discuss last evening's party, chicks, Bombay Times Page 3 and suddenly realize that they have a presentation at 11 at Welspun and they need ideas.
Just then, french beard gets a call from Mrs. Tipnis, his landlady. Ponytail parattai reads a news item in Hindustan Times about Mrs &Mr . Advani celebrating Karwachauth in Delhi. Servicing makku is caught ogling at Salma Hayek's poster in the boss' cabin. Bulb flashes! They quickly write three different copies that read,
"Ab advice denewali Mrs. Advani aapse advice maangegi" , "Ab Salaah denewali Mrs. Salma aapki salaah maangegi" , "Ab tips denewali Mrs. Tipnis aapse tips maangegi"... blah blah blah Welspun.
Scene 7 /Location: Welhome office /Time: 11am till 1pm - Day 2Its a bigger team from Mccann erickson now at the client presentation - 9 duds from yesterday+ National creative director + National associate creative director + National associate regional creative director + International creative assistant director = Some twenty odd guys beaming with asattu smiles attack the client's office.
The National creative director with his ondrai anaa presentations starts talking about consumer insight, strategy, goals, long-term orientation, genre, 360 degree approach, modern yet traditional housewives, traditional yet modern housewives, Indian values and presents this International idea of Mrs. Tipnis, Advani and Salma....
Scene 7.1 /Location: Welhome office /Time: 1-5 pm - Day 2The client is impressed since the agency has amazed them with terms like 360 degrees, insight, modern yet traditional and brought out the essence of what the Indian housewife wants today - Welspun!!!!
An elated client orders pizza and beer for all.. The free-a-kudutha-phenyl-kooda-kudikkara- agency makkal drink like modakkudiyans and get back to office to talk about how 'stressed' they are... how 'difficult' the client meeting has been, how 'tiring' the last two days have been...
Dear readers, even you can become a copywriter/ creative director/ national creative director in an ad agency. If you are guy, all you need is a french beard , ponytail , dirty shorts, dirtier t-shirt and you must must talk about Piyush, Prasoon, Irani films, Croatian film festival 24*7. If you are a girl you'll need to wear the shortest skirt possible, sport short hair+piggy tail kind of single coloured plait suspended from nowhere and must must talk about Piyush Pandey's third wife, your ex-boyfriend's current flame and say "Goa trip rocked man!" every five seconds.
Now here's your first lesson in copywriting. Let's help Mccann erickson create more such ads. In Ma.Nannan style, "enge pasangala complete pannunga paakalam?"
"Ab blog karne waali Mrs.Blogeswari bhi.............................
